Happy Thanksgiving!!!! (A Little Late)

So I was off on some wild adventures for the week of Thanksgiving and never had a chance to write about anything. Here is a recap of the Thanksgiving Trip... part 1.

The bf and I started out early Saturday and headed to Colorado National Monument. We did some hiking and it was BEAUTIFUL! The rocks were amazing and the formations were cool. You could see for miles and it was just gorgeous.

From there we headed to Moab, UT. The next day we hiked a LOT in Arches National Park. Again... BEAUTIFUL!!! And the arches look so strong but when you learn more about them you find they are really fragile. Also, some of the trails in the Devil's Garden are very high up with little around you. It was an intense hike on the anxiety front for sure. After a mile or two total in Colorado Nat. Monument and then a good long hike in Arches, my legs were tired but not done yet.

Monday involved driving to the end of the overlook road from the Island in the Sky Visitor's Center in Canyonlands National Park. Again... BEAUTIFUL!!! At the end of the road we hiked out to the end of the trail and back. The legs were still going!

Then the snow hit and we changed our afternoon plans and avoided seeing Canyons of the Ancients and Hovenweep National Monument. Tuesday brought with it a trip to Mesa Verde National Park. Now, when I was about 8 years old and in 2nd grade I remember seeing pictures of cliff dwellings in a book. I added seeing such things to my bucket list immediately. Imagine my surprise when I moved to Colorado and found out it was IN Colorado!! Then finding out how long of a drive it was... then how hot it gets in the summer so no driving, camping, and exploring for me. But now. This trip. We were going to actually see it. I have waited 20 years for this!!!! And again... BEAUTIFUL!!! Amazing.

The last day on the road, Wednesday brought a trip to Great Sand Dunes National Park. The hike to the top of the dune was SO difficult. Nothing like working your legs more than you ever have in the last 5 days only to spend the 5th hiking up sand! BUT I DID IT!!!!! And I'm glad I did.

Then we were back home and ate dinner with family on Thursday. Surprisingly I survived what the fitbits registered as almost 40 miles worth of walking. FOURTY miles of walking in 5 days. I'm kind of a beast!

Every place we went I thought it was the most beautiful thing and it nothing else could come close. Then we would get to the next stop and again... same thought. I couldn't have imagined how beautiful these places are and although we were exhausted from all that I crammed into the trip, it is wonderful to be able to say I saw these places, hiked, and am still able to walk. :)

It is paying off... slowly

The other day I stepped on the scale and saw a number less than 170 for the first time in a long time!!!! A week later I saw it again!!! Now, I know 169.8 isn't a huge win but when I stop and look back I'm down over 10 lbs. Today when I stepped on the scale I saw 167!!! I can remember seeing 183 on the scale (more than one day in a row) and this morning I was down 16 lbs!!! (According to my BMI I should lose another 20, I'd be happy with another 7-10)

What have I been doing?
-Less Stress
-Living Happier
-Focusing on the Positives
-Eating Better
-Following more of the diet I paid good money for the blood test to find out
-Working Out

Overall just being more satisfied with life, decluttering it in many ways, and working to enjoy it. Instead of focusing on the bad I try more to focus on the good. It doesn't always happen, but I try and that is the first step. :)

So, just a quick post about my win today and how my weight is better than yesterday. :) Along with the eating habits...


Oh, AND I wore a skirt today. It is cute, I just don't always wear skirts because I'm a teacher and they make me nervous at times being around 8th grade boys all day... Anyway... wore a skirt all day, spent the whole day walking around the room, did a review game so I had to be on my feet and moving things on the board and everything... It was the last period of the day before I realized I never put deodorant on my thighs. (It is a trick to prevent chafing and if you haven't tried it, you should.) I never put deodorant on my thighs and I had no chafing issues!!!! There are a lot of little payoffs to all this...

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Last week I set the goal of eating all Whole30 or at least Paleo to help kick the sugar issues that I have and to get back on track. This has sort of been my whole goal since Halloween time but last week I said it was going to happen! Two weeks till Thanksgiving break, a trip, a turkey, and all the overeating that goes with the above. So, two weeks to reset and make better choices to hopefully help curb all the bad habits over break.

Well, last week was a horrible week when examined up close but when I step back it was actually a great week. Up close it included some late nights at school to get grading and other things taken care of, some crazy time where kids were building constantly on their projects, an election that has led to the worry of a possible pay cuts (definitely not getting raises next year) based on not passing some school funding items, and some really stressful times. But, when I step back I see a week where kids were able to create unexplainable project pieces, rock a presentation to their parents, cook some great food for teachers, and overall show that they are great and why I do what I do.

That being said I was invited to Pizza and Punch by students in the FACS class. I was ecstatic because all of last year I never received an invite for their days to cook for teachers and this year I was invited right away! How can you turn down a chance to sit with students who want you to be there and eat some delicious pizza? It was amazing! Just... it wasn't paleo...

Then Thursday came along. I was tired, had cramps, a to do list a mile long, and just wanted to curl up and go back to bed. Instead I had to be at school, had to get a video made, round up photos, organize some stuff, and put on a happy face until 8pm while students showed off their projects. So, when the math teacher walked in with donuts I may have eaten one... or four... throughout the day. Then, for dinner the other teachers who ran to the store to get sides for our pulled pork brought back cheesecake and berries. How could I resist?! It was a rough, emotional day. Friday I may have helped finish off more cheesecake even though I'm not proud of it.

So, I had some wins in that I kept the cravings down until the end of the week. I even went to the candy drawer, dug through it, and none of the candy sounded good so I closed it and walked away. But I did give in at the end of the week big time!

This week is a new week and everyday is a new day. Today I saw 169 on the scale for the second time in a week. That is a HUGE win!!! I will take it and use it as incentive to keep going. :)

So today I was better at getting my workout in, drinking more water, and avoiding the last of the cheesecake along with other things I shouldn't eat.

Halloween

Well, I survived Halloween!

This weekend the bf and I carved pumpkins and they were adorable. Then I came home so I could workout on Monday morning. It was difficult to get up in the morning but the workout was good. We did Fight Gone Bad again! I talked about it in my Week 3 post from April. I looked it back up and saw that my score was 179 in April. Monday I tallied up 182! It isn't a huge difference but it is an improvement. :) Just gotta be better than yesterday.

Monday night the bf and I handed out candy for trick-or-treaters and I cooked. I made caramel popcorn balls, chili, and cornbread. I was going to do a Paleo chili but I'm not supposed to have zucchini and that's a big veggie used in place of beans. Also I figured that my list says legumes are approved so I opted for beans. I made a huge pot full and then froze some and put some away for lunches. This led me to find that I should stop thinking my freezer is empty.

I'm also part of a group of positive, encouraging women and the leader mentioned starting a Whole30 for November. I have wanted to do a Whole30 round before but have never found enough food I am supposed to eat on the list of foods I should eat. So all day today I thought about it. Then, as I finally finished entering grades at 5pm and packed up to head home, I decided that this week it just won't happen. I need time to plan and shop. My goal for this week is to keep drinking lots of water, eat mostly Whole30, and only allow one meal a day to be a healthy, non-Whole30 meal.

My bf said he would also do the diet with me for support but I'm thinking it may have something to do with all the candy we ate last night making us feel so bad this morning... I also haven't done measurements for November because I've gained about 5 lbs from eating KALE SALAD (seriously... kale salad... there is really truth to this ALCAT test...) and then pigging out on candy last night didn't help.

So, now it is time to do more research. :)

Happy November!!!

Nutrition Talk

Today the Crossfit Gym (I know it is called a "box" but I'm not on that level in my mind yet...) had a talk about nutrition. I didn't really feel like getting off the couch but I figured it would do me some good to get outside again today. So, I went...

First I just have to say my body is programed to sweat whenever I am in that building.

The talk started with us writing down what we ate yesterday and rating it. Yesterday was Saturday and most don't have great weekend eating habits. So we were given the option of writing down Friday. Ummm... so Friday was what we call a "build day" where the kids spend the whole day working on their projects and as teachers it is one of the few days we get fast food for lunch. Friday's pick was KFC. Not a proud moment but it was tasty. That also led to a lot of napping yesterday and some poor food choices. Today I'm doing a little better but the one thing I learned today is that I have got to stop lying to myself. I can't say I still eat pretty healthy. Since this summer I have had some struggles on the diet front. It started with everything leading up to having the ALCAT test redone. Things have to change.

So this talk today went through a lot of information but not extremely in-depth. It is all stuff I have heard before but needed to hear again. The owner of the gym has her PhD and is a registered dietitian. She has been doing this for awhile and is a woman after my own heart; she looks at things from a scientific point of view.

To start with she mentioned all athletes need a healthy diet (Duh...) and that we were all athletes, she knows this because we show up to Crossfit. WAIT, what?! I have NEVER thought of myself as an athlete before. I did color guard in high school and a little in college. I've never played a "sport" or anything that most would consider to be athletic. I would like to have the "athletic" toned body but never have I thought of myself as an athlete. This is a whole new lens to view myself through...

Macro nutrients: fat, proteins, and carbs, were the main part of the talk and she stressed the Paleo diet. Not as a "diet" or anything but more so as an analogy for clean eating. Pretty much to her Paleo means eating things that haven't been processed to a degree. She also mentioned figuring out what YOUR body needs and reacts to. Not everyone HAS to go dairy free or give up grains. The key is to eat food that isn't as processed. Paleo also tends to be higher in protein, moderate in carbs and healthy fat intake, dense in macronutrients, and a better balance of Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids when compared to the "average American diet."

Included was a list of foods to avoid and why:
grains- have anti-nutrients (?), inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
beans- have anti-nutrients, inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
gluten- inflammatory and damages the gut lining
dairy- inflammatory, good at making baby things get bigger (unless you're wanting mass gain you probably don't need it)
refined sugars- inflammatory, causes swings in blood sugar, can be addictive
alcohol- see refined sugars
processed foods- crammed with chemicals, preservatives, extra sodium and nutrient poor

Until this summer I was doing good with avoiding the above with the exception of rice. I need to get back on the wagon and cut out the junk I have been eating. With the help of the ALCAT I already know what foods my body doesn't tolerate. Now I just need to get back within the "good diet" guidelines.

It was also mentioned that the Whole30 and all the diets who say they take 30 days have science behind them. Studies have shown that 30 days is the ideal time to see changes take place in gut health and other changes in the body based on food changes.

Things I already knew but she went over some of the pros of cleaner eating:
-to be healthier
-to perform better
-to aid in recovery
-steady energy
-mental clarity
-increased muscle mass
-increased strength
-better immune response
-fat loss
-improved mood
-decreased inflammation
-faster recovery
-better sleep

The idea of being "fat adapted" as something that happens when your body is used to burning fat more than it is burning carbs. You still eat carbs but your body is more reliant on the long term break down of fats rather than the fast energy. It helps to balance out a lot of different functions in your body. So a 30 day run of something like Whole30 can actually get your body into a "fat adapted" state.

I had never thought of it like that before.

Signs that you're fat adapted include: less hangry episodes, you don't have intense carb cravings, steady energy throughout the day, you burn the fat you eat rather than store it, metabolic flexibility

Then came the timing piece. This part I was really interested in because I have been trying out intermittent fasting. Pre-workout meals should be 15-75 minutes before a workout, endurance workouts should include a snack, and a post workout snack/meal 15-30 minutes after a workout. If you're fat adapted you can do fasted training. (That's kind of what I do!) Fasted training helps your gut feel better and taps into your fat stores if fat adapted.

It will take 2-3 weeks to adjust if you're coming from a crappy diet. Drink lots of water and suffer though, it gets better on the other side.

So, I'm going to try to get back on the clean eating kick. Step one: cutting out processed sugars. First I will stop eating candy. Not proud that I downed a whole bag of sour gummy bears the other day... I still have some yogurt that is sweetened and delicious... but I'm not buying any more. It will be difficult with Halloween coming up next weekend, but it can be done. I have done it before!

Drink more water...

Something that's been bothering me...

So, it is "that" week. Girls know the one I'm talking about.... For me that means thinking about EVERYTHING and mulling over it a million times. Often I go back to the day I couldn't handle the girl I called my best friend. (Mind you she always called someone else her best friend but was sure to let me know that I was a better friend than the other girl was most days.)

See... this is what happens... stupid side tangents...

On that day she mentioned how people look at her and are disgusted by her weight/looks. About how people make comments about how fat and ugly she is. How a kid drove by 9 years ago and yelled at her something about Jenny Craig. How I don't know what it is like to have people make comments because they don't like my body. (disclaimer: this is my brain this week, it could have changed the actual events)

So I've been pondering about it and I have realized something... I do know. It has happened to me. As a matter of fact it happened from her. And then came this realization...

You don't have to be fat for people to think you look disgusting.

I have honestly never thought I was "fat." I've never claimed that. There have been times where I think I could lose a few pounds. When I would feel better if I was in better shape. All that... But I've never thought I've been fat. (My BMI says otherwise, I think it uses the term "obese")

Looking back she had always made comments about how I didn't need to lose weight. How I looked amazing. I was even too skinny at one point. (I was pretty darn skinny Freshman year of high school) Most of these were comments made in support. In the last year of our friendship though I feel like some became less supportive. (Again, it could all be in my brain) Then I got to thinking about it and see people all the time make comments, smiling, and then turn around and drop the smile to be envious. They honestly find it disgusting that you aren't fat. That you just look good and think it comes so easy to you. They judge you for how you look and blame you for judging them even if you don't.

Have I ever looked at a picture and said, "Woah, she/he got big?" Yeah. I can't lie and say I haven't. Except for one person (an ex) I have NEVER said it because they look disgusting. It is more of a comment of shock because the person I knew, the person I thought they were, valued their self more.  I don't think people gain weight because they don't value their self, there are always other factors that play a role. I think what becomes more apparent is how uncomfortable they look like they feel being in the picture and you can see that they don't look at their whole self the same or value it the same anymore. It is more of a shock to see their confidence gone. THAT is what makes me sad and disgusted.

Then I look back and all the times I felt remarks were made about my weight or how good I look in a judging manner was when I was feeling most confident about myself. (Negative comments were made at times when I wasn't feeing great about being me.. unless it is coming from my mom and that's just how my mother is) Anyone who knows me quickly learns that I'm a pretty confident and independent person. That's just me and how I've had to be in life. I don't let many visibly bring me down. (They do, I just normally don't let it show. Or try not to.) So then I have to reevaluate... do these girls make comments in a negative manner about my looks because they are disgusted by them or do they make the comments because I am so confident about myself? Do others make comments about those they see as disgusting, for whatever reason, because they envy the confidence level of that person?

Self reflection and people watching, especially as a teacher, has led me to know that people will often turn things on others and blame others for issues. Kid gets a bad grade and feels bad about it, turns on the kid who got the A and tries to make sure they feel bad about that A too. Someone in an unhappy relationship tries to make others feel bad about their healthy relationship or at least question it. We do it all the time! "Oh, you're going to the beach on vacation?! Oh, well I heard about the jellyfish/weather/sharks/bugs/area/people/etc. were bad there." We try to steal their happiness to make up for our own lack of happiness. I'm guilty of it too! The first step is admitting you have a problem!

So, here is what I have been working on... building people up. Let's stop tearing people down. Let's stop judging. Let's allow people to be open and honest and not interfere with their feelings. If you see or think of something positive to say, say it! If they are upset help them out. Lift them up. Don't thrive off their misery. And if they are happy and excited and joyous? Do NOT take that away from them! Don't ruin their confidence/happiness/excitement just to make yourself feel better. Don't do it. If you can't be happy for them then figure out what in your life is preventing you from being happy for them and either do something to change it or accept it as it is and move on. It may not happen over night, but get over it!

I've slowly been working on this and I have to say, (minus this week) I have been a happier person overall. Try it. Try to see things from a different perspective and not judging people. That includes the car that cut you off, the person who takes forever ringing up your groceries (PAINFULLY slow just so you know... and was upsetting to stand in line forever to get the slowest cashier and it could have ruined my day but instead I wondered if she HAD to be working and that was the job she could do. She was older  maybe stocking or something else wouldn't work out. Then instead of anger and frustration at her I was upset with the situation and felt bad for her and hope she is accomplishing what she needs to.), the student who acts like a jerk sometimes, everyone who upsets us in some way or even causes us to be jealous of something... stop. Be happy.

As Perscribed...

Today I did my first WOD Rx.

That's right. I did the whole workout as prescribed.

It was my very first time to Rx a workout and I couldn't be more proud. The workout was a 7 min AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) of 10 burpees ending in a jump on a weight followed by a farmers carry at 25# each hand around the building. I managed to do 2 rounds with 6 extra burpees. Not a lot, the max was three or just over three, but I finished it as prescribed.

Now, even bigger than doing the workout Rx is the fact that I did burpees. I did 10 in a row each time and only had to stop to pull up my pants! I survived burpees and they didn't even seem that bad!!! THEN I did the extra 4 min row!

That is exciting. That is one of the benefits of getting into shape. Who cares if I can ever fit into a "small" size again, I can do so many more things!!!! I am strong. I am almost "in shape." (I think I could have a little more endurance for somethings like running and such) I am me and couldn't be more proud.

More Losses!

So first I have to get off my chest that I am not happy about school today. It is yet another team meeting day and yet again what we said as teachers is being twisted around into something we would never say. On top of that I have a tough class. In the class I have 4 boys who are down right disrespectful but in a way that you can't pinpoint. They do things like laugh when I turn to write on the board and say nothing when you ask them what they are laughing at. They constantly have a response to EVERYTHING! It could be a comment to something said. I could be a comment (generally an echo from 3-4 of them) when I get on to one of them for something. It can be continuously tapping pencils on the table even after being told to stop. And every time I get on to them for it they just love it and build off of it. I've tried the ignore it tactic, it gets worse. I've tried the 3 strikes you're out system and it works to a point but there is a fine line as to what is worthy of a strike and what isn't. That's the hardest part!!! The things they do aren't really things to write them up for. I can't put on a slip that the kid was laughing in class so they should have detention. I can't say the kid shouldn't respond with "yes Ms. B" when I ask them to stop tapping their pencil. But it is in the way they do it. Ugh... I dread the class and yet the same kids have the greatest potential to be my favorite class. They just seem like they have something to prove and I'm not sure to who.

Anyway... some wins! or should I say losses?

First I actually rode my bike to school today! Yay!! It has been awhile. It was a little rough but I did it. That is something that Crossfit doesn't prepare your muscles for in case you were wondering.

Since it is the beginning of October it is time to take some body measurements. :) Since trying to use my food/workout journal I have been limiting myself to only at the beginning of the month can I do body measurements. Weight is different but I've also come to terms with it being more of a number and less of a sign of changes. So today I did my measurements... (insert drumroll)

Gains: +0.5" on flexed upper left arm
No Change: Chest (relaxed and expanded), Neck, Shoulders, Right Upper Arm (flexed/relaxed), and Left Upper Arm (relaxed), Right Upper Thigh

Decreases!!!!
Weight -2.8 lbs
BMI -.44
Waist-hip Ratio -0.01
Waist -1"
Stomach -1.5"
Hips -.75"
Forearms (relaxed/flexed) avg -0.5"
Right Lower Thigh -2"
Left Lower Thigh -1.5"
Left Upper Thigh -.5"
Left/Right Calf -1"

That's right... my calves lost an inch each! Perhaps cute boots are in my future?

Some Thoughts

A lot has been going through my head lately and I wanted to share it all! :) But I will try to pace myself...

I ran a 5k this weekend! Sunday morning was the Hot Chocolate 5k in Downtown Denver. It was a great morning and after a week of not working out (minus Monday) it was wonderful to get some exercise. I managed to run the whole thing!!!! That's right... I ran the whole thing after being sick and not doing any exercise for about three weeks. My average pace was around 11 minute miles. 36:57 was my time according to my timing chip. I'm getting better without even running!

But, I still am missing working out. So, this month a facebook friend is having a 21/90 day group of ladies to encourage each other to keep on track with a goal. It has to do with the idea of taking 21 days to make a habit and 90 days until New Years. My goal is to get back to Crossfit 3 days a week. It seems if I get back into that habit then the other two days a week of exercise falls in place and I'm up to 5 days a week. It is also easier to keep the diet in check when working out on a regular basis. Sleep and schedules are usually easier for me to deal with too. So today, after a 5k yesterday, I woke up early and made it to the gym. :) Tomorrow walking may be an interesting task.

Diet... So I have discovered some things about diet. First, did you all know that butternut squash is really delicious? AND easy to make? I grilled some up this weekend and it was so tasty. I went and got three more from the store because they are on sale 2 lbs for $1. Chobani flips are also delicious. They make a pumpkin pie one that I would eat all day long if I could. Today I had the PB&J one that is also delicious. Yogurt and I are having a love affair right now. My goal is to cut out sugars again... I did it for the two weeks before so I know I can do it again... but for right now I'm good with no sweets and eating sugars in my food within reason.

Now I am so sleepy I could probably go crawl in bed for the night and be fine. Part of me is tempted to and just wake up extra early to get school stuff done. I could get up at the gym time and ride my bike to school tomorrow. Then I could go to bed now and be fine. I always bring home work to work on and never get around to doing any of it. My brain shuts down early in the evenings and nothing ever happens. This is why I workout in the mornings.

So far I'm in a much better mood than I have been and worked out today. :)

Being Sick, Family News, More House Stuff, and a small rant.

Well, a couple weeks ago I decided since I had the flooring already purchased I would see what the sub floor was like in the kitchen and go for it! So I moved the fridge and tore up a bunch of the floor that I hate. I examined the layers of linoleum. Then, I got sick. The original plan was perhaps that weekend to work on the floor and get it done. Should be complete in a weekend right? Well, being sick I decided to go to the bf's house instead and am so glad I did. Nothing is worse than being sick and fighting with the dining room table to get in and out of the fridge. (It is currently in the dining room because I pulled it out of the kitchen to get the floor out) So, this week I decided I'm fixing the issue this weekend because I'm going crazy with my kitchen in construction mode. Thursday the bf came and helped me move the stove into the living room. Now the challenge is how long I can go without a stove...

So, I spent today ripping up all the old flooring and scraping as much glue and paper off the sub floor as I could. Then did some research on my rest breaks... I can't push myself too much because I'm still recovering from being sick over a week later... Found what I needed to do and went off to Lowe's. Nothing like buying a 50 lb bag of floor leveler, special primer, applicators, mixer, bucket, etc. and then find out that it only covers 48 sq ft and you need 72... so back to buy another bag before you begin. Then after you finish everything it turns out one bag was more than enough. Grr... Oh well, I will just return the other bag tomorrow. That will bring my total of flooring supplies to $89 to install the flooring that cost me $40. Still cheaper than it would have been so I'm focusing on that and how pretty it will look.

Thursday I received a text from my sister letting myself and the other sister know that Mom was in the hospital but everything was ok and should be going home Friday. Thanks for letting us know. Oh, yeah, she found out because she just happened to call and it turns out Mom went in to the hospital on Tuesday and nobody let anyone know. Not happy with how my parents seem to spread the word about important things. Mom is ok though and what happened was, as she put it, her colon had a stroke. There was lack of blood supply to her colon and so it caused some inflammation and pain. A quick google search says it is most often related to cholesterol but when I asked mom if they checked hers she said no, her cholesterol pills are working just fine. Wait, what?! My mom is on cholesterol pills? So now tell me how this isn't a family thing since her mom and two of her brothers have had issues with blockages... As soon as this floor thing is taken care of the diet will be put back on track. Seriously...

And for the small rant...

I changed my mind and decided to let it go. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm in a better place and a better person for it so I'm not going to say a word and just let it be.

Rockin' it Today!

Tuesdays have become our team meeting days so my plan period is spent in the office discussing things that typically don't accomplish much. I could probably write a whole blog just on team meetings. But, because my plan period is taken up by meetings this means I have to be on top of things and/or go into school with enough time to get setup. On top of that I told a student who was worried and stressed about her grades that I could meet with her early if she wanted to. (Kind of frustrating to get a 2 page email, take the time to respond, and then the kid never checks for a response...) Plus there were some copies to be made and some blanks to white-out for kids who need notes in class rather than copying.

I made it in time. I get copies made. I get everything setup. I go to the meeting. We get held late. I get back to class and hey, I did actually get everything setup and don't have to rush things! Technology works. I'm using my ipad to write on the projector so I don't have to stand at the front where the board is, instead I can mix it up! Kids are asking great questions. We are having an awesome discussion. I look up and there is a pencil stuck in my ceiling... NOT TOO HAPPY... But it is kind of funny.

The day goes on. Some classes are just more talkative than others and that's life. Kid totally flipped off another kid and then acted like he did nothing when I was watching him! Ugh... I meet with the kid about grades before lunch. Things are going. Then comes the end of the day.

I rocked the time from 3-4! I prepped for the ACT class that I'm helping teach. All the ducks were put in a row nicely. Then I called my other bank and got some information so I can actually access my online account. Changed that password, checked some things out. I called and talked to CenturyLink because $47.99 for 1.5 Mbps is NOT a great deal. They knocked it back down to $25 which is still pricy considering the speed, but at the same time I don't mind the slower speed, I'm more worried about cost. (Note, could have internet and Direct TV for $53 but on my 24" tv it isn't worth it, isn't saving money, and I have a free antenna, netflix, and access to xfinity online) Now all that is left is to cancel the diary stuff for good and redo the kitchen floor.

That's right, I'm redoing the kitchen floor. I dislike the quality of laminate floor in my whole house and it isn't installed very well in general either. When I had dishwasher issues I realized the floor would have to come out to get a new dishwasher in. While price checking dishwashers to see how much I didn't really want to spend (and ended up not having to!) I also checked to see what a new floor would cost me. Turns out I found a great deal on enough vinyl flooring to cover the kitchen, bathrooms, pantry, and laundry closet for a whopping $80! Couldn't pass up that deal... Now I just have to rip up the old floor and figure out how to get the new one down. The plan for this weekend is to get the old one completely out and access the situation.

Oh, and I received my newest toy today! The friend that I no longer talk to had a Silhouette Cameo and although she did a lot for her wedding with it the thing seemed like overall a waste of money for myself to buy. So it wasn't an option for me in my mind. She and her other friend each had one of the first and second styles created. After awhile of seeing different projects that were cute I looked into it a little more and they will cut fabric! I've wanted to do applique quilts and such for awhile but never really did because of the tedious cutting process. This would do it for me! So I looked some more and turns out there was a new model coming out. So I figured a few things... 1) the old model would drop in price when the new one came out and 2) perhaps the new features were worth the money? I waited. The project ideas began to pile up and so I decided to look and see when the new model would be available and it was only about $20 for the bundle I found on Amazon so I snatched one up!  The following weekend I decided to apply for financing to purchase windows for my house and so the Cameo will be the last purchase for awhile.

Hopefully I will be able to sell some projects though as I get going to help fund more projects and perhaps make a little extra on the side. Not sure what time I will use since I can't even seem to find time to put dishes away, but I'm sure lots of crafting will happen over the holiday breaks. :)

Now it is time to finish installing the software and go to bed. I'm in a much better mood today than I was yesterday and feel so much better.

Plan, meet Wrench

So, huge wrench was thrown in all sorts of plans last week... Let me begin with the good first. :)

Wednesday I went on a hike. A BEAUTIFUL hike. It has been one year since the bf and I became pretty much inseparable so we decided to both take off work and go on a hike we were going to do almost a year ago but hadn't gotten to yet. It was only 1.2 miles but in that you gain 1,000 ft. It was some steep trail and not the easiest at times.

Hanging Lake, CO

The water was SO CLEAR!!!

Changing Leaves of CO

Then I brag... cause I didn't really ever get winded! I felt leg day from the Friday and Monday before, but I could easily stop for maybe 30 seconds and be fine to go again! I also could still walk at the end of the day, and even the next. #winning

That evening the bf came with me to ASL class and was bored out of his mind but has suddenly started teaching me way more signs! I like it. We ended the evening at the Cheesecake Factory where I ate my weight in food and then we shared a piece of cheesecake and took one to go for the weekend. Overall it was a great day and I loved every minute of it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then comes #fail... nothing like taking a sick day only to wake up sick the next day.

Yep, Thursday I started to get sick. Friday was worse. Saturday was the peak of all that is horrible. Sore throat, stuffy nose, pressure everywhere, upset stomach from drainage, all of it... Sunday I began to feel a little better but it was now all in the sinus areas and trying to choke me. Luckily I have an awesome bf who let me lay in his relining couch spot all weekend and waited on me hand and foot. He even came to cuddle with me when I asked him to so I could sleep. It seemed the only way I slept during the day was if he was holding me. He let me watch whatever I wanted on tv and never complained and cooked all sorts of good food for me even though I couldn't taste it. I think he is a keeper!

Then comes today.

Today was rough. I felt better but it was a day where struggling to breathe and talk gives you a headache. As I was going through the lesson ideas I had for today I was dreading doing notes with the kids because that meant I would have to talk all day long. So instead I gave them a day to do the homework I would normally assign and give them 3 days for because it is kind of long. Then I was touched... kids really do have a heart and worked without issues on the assignment the entire hour. It was awesome and makes my heart happy. Then I left knowing I could come home and rest and be lazy.

THEN... I checked my email to find a student with high anxiety and over planned freaking out. Checked out some info and think it might be more than my class so replied to her about that. Then sent a note to the team as a heads up. Then went to deposit some checks and found that the last one I deposited didn't go through? Ugh. So sent the bank a message. No clue what I did with the check either. Oops. Checked the time as my internet was slowing and saw it was after 7... I REALLY need to call and complain about paying almost $50 for 1.5 Mbps internet. This is NOT ok... give me a promo rate again or I'm switching to a provider advertising 25 Mbps for $50. BIG difference there. But alas, it was too late to call. Which also means it is too late to call the other bank that I need to call and too late to call and cancel the milk man order because $11 for a gallon of OJ and a dozen eggs in a month is a little high. I don't use it enough anymore to justify it.

AND... to top it all off, I want to go work out. I miss it. And I'm doing so great at it! And I have a 5k in two weeks. And yet I can't even seem to walk a flight of stairs without feeling like I need a nap and fill tissues with snot all day long. Maybe I will take the pup on a walk in the morning if I'm feeling up to it before I go to school? I need to do something but I get so exhausted so easily.

And then there is the diet part... Yeah... not too proud to say my dinner tonight consisted of a bag of potato chips. But, I'm also at a place where I'm kind of thinking eating any food is better than nothing which is what I'm actually hungry for. I know I need to eat so I do force myself to... I just can't seem to force myself to cook or plan a meal.

So today I'm doing better on the illness front than yesterday and gaining my strength back one day at a time... but this is all a big wrench in the plan on keeping on track.

The Thigh Gap Myth and other stories

We often see photos of girls with a gap between their thighs. They even make thigh gap jewelry?! WTF is that!? Anyway I was excited because while I was admiring my legs the other day (I do this often as I really like the way they are looking!) and noticed I have less fat on my upper thighs where they rub. Then I realized I'm so close to getting rid of the extra jiggle where the thigh gap should be and maybe, just MAYBE, I might end up with a gap between my thighs. You can only imagine my excitement. This is a big deal! I don't know if I ever had a gap between my thighs except when I stand with my feet apart.

So the beginning of September started and I got to fill out my measurement page in my food/workout journal. It has mostly just been a workout log book but hey, it is something. So I am pumped to take my measurements and compare them to before! I'm fitting the waist of my pants better (thighs not so much as the quads are getting pretty ripped) and feel better and I'm so excited to see what changes are happening with the numbers.

First, the scale. I've lost some pounds and am excited to officially record my losses. I'm down 6.2 lbs! Woot! These inches must be good with a loss like that and the progress I'm seeing. Next the chest relaxed and expanded. I measure through my arm pits and above my breast. My hope is to monitor the side boob and my pecks. Turns out... both measurements have no change.
Waist (smallest part), no change. Not sure how I'm fitting pants better...
Stomach (belly button), no change.
Hips (across hip bones), down 1.25"!!!! CELEBRATE!
Neck, UP 0.5"... ok, ok... we are building muscle
Shoulders, UP 1"... slow down on the muscle building but I do like the way my deltoids are looking...
Right arm upper relaxed and flexed, no change.
Left arm is down 0.5" relaxed and down 0.75" flexed... I double checked.
Right forearm flexed and relaxed, no change.
Left forearm flexed and relaxed, DOWN 0.25".... thought I was building muscle?
Right thigh, no change
Left thigh, no change
calves, yeah, they haven't changed measurements either...

So now I'm realizing that this thigh gap thing is a myth. At least it is for me. Also apparently all my 6.2 lbs came from my hips and my left forearm.... After taking all the measurements I re-realized something... It isn't about the numbers. It isn't about the pounds I lose or the inches that seem to never change. Instead it is about how you feel. I'm loving working out. I debate about going twice a day. Exercise helps me control food cravings (this past weekend was BAD on food choices) and overall just be better. I can see things changing on my body. More definition is happening in my arms. My thighs are less jiggly at the top. Side boob is getting more firm. The fact that I feel better overall, am convincing myself to wake up early, get up, and work out just because I REALLY want to do that day's workout... THESE are the reasons to be excited. I'm FINALLY understanding how people can workout everyday and enjoy it. I understand why runners can run and keep doing it day after day. It is about how it makes you feel, not always what it does for the numbers.

But also, as a scientist kind of person, it is driving me crazy that the numbers aren't showing the changes I know are happening. Dumb data.

In other news I started a relay team (and am on it) for the Colfax Marathon in Denver. It is in May and a group from school is going to run the relay. Originally I said I wanted the flat 3.? miles to be my part. There is another 3.? mile piece and then some 6.? mile pieces. Now I'm kind of interested in pushing myself to be able to run 6 miles.

First I need to make sure I stay healthy. Kids are dropping like flies at school due to illness. Last Thursday I felt so bad that I convinced myself to eat out and call it a night because cooking wasn't an option. Instead of a burger and fried that originally sounded good and could be purchased from the car window, I decided some good soup would be better. So I picked up some chicken soup from the grocery store that was out of my way. I also took Friday off to let my body recover a little. So glad I did because I felt a bunch better by the end of the day on Friday. By Tuesday I was itching for some exercise though...

21 Days

So, I added up the number of days that I did exercise for at least 30 minutes! In the month of August with school starting and getting back into a routine and a crazy diet I managed 21 days of exercise. That's 68% of the days. I remember in college when I rewarded myself for 15 days and I just blew that out of the water. Last week I worked out 6 of the 7 days! This week I was doing pretty good until getting just plain worn out and have 3/4 days. Tomorrow is undecided... Monday is a holiday and the gym is closed. Plus I'm going out of town for the weekend and although will hopefully get to walk around a lot and hopefully do some shopping, I won't be able to really do my workouts or treadmill time. I still need to pack though and it is either get up early and pack or pack in a rush after school as I'm late to leave. I will probably do both but that means treadmill time because there is no way I'm making it to the gym AND getting any packing in... out of bed at 4 am is just crazy talk.

I'm also pretty sure I'm fighting off something. My ears and jaw are bothering me along with just being wiped out. So I figure it is better to slack off for a few days to make sure I can fight off whatever this is. Last thing I need is to get sick and then not be able to work out at all. I'm just starting to really enjoy it. I've found a gym I like. I like challenging myself to see if I can finish the workouts. I have a good trivia podcast I like to listen to. I am liking it. It is helping me I think too. Now if only the house and laundry would clean themselves...

A New Development

I have begun to check the workouts when they get posted the night before... This is something I often do because I'm beat after a long day at school. I haven't been getting home until after 5:00 which for me is weird because I typically can't function after 4. Anyway, I have been checking the workouts to see if I should go to Crossfit in the morning or not. For example, Sunday I spent the day with the bf and a friend canning peaches and strawberry jam. After being on my feet all day and my whole body aching, I decided to check the workout before deciding if I should get up and go or instead sleep in before the busy week.

Then something NEW happened... I saw the workout and was excited to go! Monday morning I was struggling to wake up. My phone decided to begin updating between snooze buttons. (I set 3 alarms and get to hit snooze on the last one once before having to actually get up) I began talking myself out of getting up but for some reason was so nervous that my phone wouldn't update in time for me to wake up again in time so I couldn't go back to sleep. I also tried to tell myself that I had nothing planned, I could just go on the way home from school. But then I also talked myself out of the afternoon idea because I really like the small morning class and the cooler temperatures. I know all the people, they are great, they are supportive, and there are less people in general so it isn't as crowded. It is also like 10 degrees cooler in the morning and even then it is often a hot and sweaty place when you get to working out.

I actually was more anxious about missing a great workout than I was about doing the workout. I talked myself into getting out of bed to make sure I made it to the morning class. This happened with less umph on Friday too! So strange...

In other news this weekend is supposed to be my shopping spree weekend but I will be out of town for the three days so clothes shopping will have to wait a little longer probably. One pair of slacks is in the works and seem like they will fit, I just have to work on the waist band part. Once they are done I should be able to whip up dress pants fairly quickly. They would take about 2 evenings if I actually put my mind to it. Especially since now I know what I'm doing.

This week I'm also a little heart broken about my weight. Friday I was down to 174!!! Kept it around there all weekend. Then Monday came and I was 177 again. Today was 178. My stomach has been horribly upset though and Monday wasn't pretty when I went to the bathroom before bed. I ate a lot of sugar and stuff I shouldn't this weekend so I'm thinking that did me in. It is back to restricting the diet to what was working again. Apparently sugar, rice, and almonds do actually affect me. That would also explain why switching to almond milk in my protein drinks wouldn't help with the weight loss. Good news is that I don't think any of the gain is actual pounds but instead just inflammation. Get back on track and that should drop off again in a few days.

Some are better than others

Sometimes when you get a compliment you just feel that some are better than others. For example, when you have complained to your friend for a week about your diet and frustrations with weight and clothing not fitting and then your friend compliments you on how good you look, you hesitate to trust it is a true, heartfelt compliment. We all do it.

Today something happened that was different and made me happy... I was complimented by one of the Crossfit coaches who usually wouldn't say anything and in the middle of a workout. In the middle of a 10 min EMOM (Every Minute On the Minute) workout she looked at me and said, "Patricia, you're looking skinny!" I was shocked! Why yes, I am looking damn good! Now I just want to give compliments to everyone for something. Compliments make everyone feel better.

Also, I rocked today's workout. I may have kept the weight 40 lbs under what was prescribed but I still rocked it. This is on top of running on the treadmill yesterday AND hiking up a flight of stairs with kids every class period. Today I actually debated going for a jog around the block before eating dinner but then I remembered I'm running on the treadmill in the morning, I'm tired, my legs hurt, and I'm hungry. So instead I'm taking it easy and will see how I feel in the morning for if I do the scheduled workout (came with a 5k I signed up for and is easy) or if I'm going to push myself. I have noticed my speed increased.

Plus, I'm toying with the idea of signing up for a Marathon Relay. It depends on cost and such but I'm thinking it would be fun. I have no desire to run a marathon or even a half, but doing a piece of the relay would be fun. Still doing research and seeing who might be interested in running.

Life.

Life has been crazy busy. Students came back to school after back to school night followed by another back to school night to help advertise my side job as an ACT Prep teacher... This weekend called for some quiet down time. Thursday night I was so exhausted that I was barely functioning by the time I made it into bed, there was NO way I was getting up to kick my butt at Crossfit. It was a good thing too because by Friday night my legs were so sore from walking around all day. It was a rough week.

In the clothing adventures I purchased a pattern last week for dress slacks. They had some fabric on sale too so I figured why not just get everything?! Let's get a pair of pants made! Saturday I sat down to start making them and realized my measurements actually didn't fit with the sizes (12-18) in the pattern and I needed the larger pattern (20W-24W). This was a little upsetting but got me dressed and out to the store to also buy the pocket lining I forgot. While I was there I happened to notice that another brand of patterns were on sale so I went ahead and picked up one for jeans (can be used with slacks fabric too) that was less than $2. I had looked at it before but convinced myself not to spend the money. Then I set about making a mock up pair of pants. Nothing makes you feel fat like true sizing....

I measured. I planned. I picked out the size that should work. I dug out a bolt of ugly fabric that I could use to create my mock up pants. I managed to quickly get a pair of pants sewn and put them on! .... The 24W size that was the one to fit my hips is about 10 sizes to BIG. (Maybe not that much but it wasn't pretty either.) So I go back and I relook at all the stuff... nope, I picked the correct size. So I start doing research... Did you know that the patterns have an "ease" in them that adds inches? Yeah, this one has like a 3" ease all around. I went with my hip size because my hip/waist ratio doesn't conform to the patterns'. So the waist that I knew I'd have to take in an inch or two already actually needs like 5" taken in... Yep. Now I need the smaller pattern! Glad I didn't use the good fabric because no amount of taking in fabric is going to help. I made another set of mock up pants from the smallest size and I think they will still be too large but I'd rather take them in than let them out. Now I'm debating if I should go ahead and use the fabric or use the jeans pattern instead? Pants are on hold for a few days.

I ate like crap this weekend... and by crap I mean TASTY pizza. Today wasn't much better either but I'm working on the better food choices. The one thing I have learned from my fasting and then the crazy Candida Diet is that I'm really not as hungry as I think I am. I try using food as a distraction and it causes problems like that. I'm often able to convince myself I'm not hungry by doing an activity of some sort and/or drinking a lot of water. My water intake isn't what it should be and so that is helping there too. Originally I was supposed to start counting calories this week but I think I will push that off till next week and instead work on getting my body used to school and eating on a set schedule again.

The bf and I did go to the fancy tea place in town and I purchased some Summertime Peach tea to drink. It is tasty and something different from water or sweetened drinks. I did add some stevia but I figured half a teaspoon for 32 oz isn't that bad. I may need to go buy some more next weekend too. I just wish they had it in decaf.

More to come later. Hopefully this week isn't nearly as busy as last week but I feel that it will be since school has started up.

I hiked 5.4 miles. (A poem)

I hiked 5.4 miles yesterday.
I hiked 5.4 miles.
I hiked 5.4 miles in the mountains.
I hiked 5.4 miles at elevation.
I hiked 5.4 miles and it wasn't an easy trail.
I hiked 5.4 miles and it was not flat.
I hiked 5.4 miles and complained the whole way.
I hiked 5.4 miles and saw a couple waterfalls.
I hiked 5.4 miles and I survived.

I hiked 5.4 miles yesterday.
I hiked 5.4 miles and loved it.
I hiked 5.4 miles and enjoyed being in nature again.
I hiked 5.4 miles and it was just what I needed for my bad attitude.
I hiked 5.4 miles and I can still move.
I hiked 5.4 miles and I don't really feel it today.
I hiked 5.4 miles yesterday.
I hiked 5.4 miles.

Over a year ago a friend and I decided to hike 100 miles in the summer. We didn't meet our goal because I bought a house and life got in the way, but when we started we did almost 5 miles on our first hike and we were SORE. The longest hike we have done to date is 10 miles on a gradual slope of a gravel road. That one killed us the next few days. By the end of the summer my goal wasn't distance, it was just to be able to get out and do things and be in enough shape to not feel the pain the next few days. I still got it. :)

We hiked a trail that sounds WAY easier in the description and WAY shorter too. Seems our theme this year is "Let's do a couple miles" and it turns into a few more than planned. Our first hike of the summer season, and the last one we had done (sadness), was going to be about 2-3 miles. Then I remembered we camped on the other side of the lake so 8 miles later we were done. The dog put herself to bed that night extra early. This one it turns out you have to learn to read the map correctly. Normally the trail head is at the bottom of the map and you hike towards the top. No problem. Turns out we were actually at the other trailhead and it is a bit farther away. Also turns out the loop is a lot longer than the map makes it look. Oh, and it is all uphill. Overall my MapMyRun app said we gained 875.2ft. We aren't used to that so our pace was pretty slow. Confirms that I won't be hiking a 14er anytime soon.

After getting back home and looking back at the pictures I got to see just how much 5-8lbs makes a difference on me. The picture on the left is from the Fourth of July this year and the right is from our hike yesterday. Same pair of shorts but with a tighter shirt yesterday. I was shocked. The girl on the right is who I see when I picture myself, not the one on the left.

Also, note those legs. I love my legs. 

It gives me hope that I can reach my goal. Now that I have cut out sugars and am on a really restricted diet I have dropped some pounds. I can't wait to be able to add back in more fruits and veggies though... I so crave vegetables. It also makes lunches hard for work. I used to eat salads practically everyday but mix up what I put in them. My options are small. 

Living in a Fantasy

Have you ever watched a TV show and wished you could live in that show? I feel like a lot of people have, and maybe I have too for a short period of time, but I'm too much of a realist to actually dream about living in a show.

I've been on Netflix and watching Gilmore Girls from the beginning. Watching shows on a consistent basis (pre Netflix/Hulu era) has never been a strong point of mine. Gilmore Girls has been a show that I like and wanted to watch more of but I was busy so the story was choppy and just wasn't one I religiously watched. Again, I don't think I've ever religiously watched a show except the one season of the reality show Joe Millionaire, don't judge. Enjoying Gilmore Girls wasn't something I really told people either. There was always a friend who liked the show more and I felt like I wasn't allowed to claim I liked it because I wasn't a die hard fan of it like others were. I have yet to have a show that I'm a true "die-hard fan" over.

I digress. As I was binge watching some episodes this evening I found myself getting excited for fall and brisk weather and the need to wear jackets. Fall isn't even my favorite season! Winter is my fave but that is because of snow and maybe later I will explain my connection with snow. I also started to envy the relationship between Lorelai and Rory because I definitely do not have that with my mom, not at all. There is someone I know who has a similar connection with her mom but when her mom doesn't want to spend every free moment with her, she gets upset. I've realized Lorelai has a weird need for her daughter's time...

Does watching shows where we connect so well with the characters set up unrealistic expectations for us? For some I think it does. When it comes down to it though, I'd rather have my life. There isn't a show I have seen that fits me as well as my life fits me. Are there ups and downs? Yes. Are there things that I would go back and change because I made dumb choices? Yeah. Where I am today though and where my life seems to be going is what I want and couldn't imagine anything better.

It also goes back to unrealistic expectations. You know that outfit you plan out in your head and see yourself perfectly in? Then you put it on and look in the mirror and it ain't so pretty?  I'm most disappointed because of the unrealistic vision I had for myself when that happens. I don't look like that in my mind. I don't FEEL like that. I don't feel like I have any love handles or muffin top until I put on clothes and actually look at myself. (I don't really have them without clothes on... dumb waist bands)

Maybe we don't actually look at ourself enough? I think I have been taught subconsciously to ignore myself in the mirror. Look only when needed and no more. When I started running years ago I felt amazing and loved looking at myself in the mirror. Plus we had a huge bathroom and a decent sized mirror so I could admire my body and all the pros of running at the time. I grew away from that again. I'm getting better though where I like checking myself out in the mirror naked. Not in a weird, sexual way.... but I think I look good.

I read a book that said you should stand naked in front of a mirror everyday and instead of focusing on your flaws, compliment yourself on the things you like about yourself. Friday at the training in the morning they brought up how taboo it is to tell others about the things you like about yourself. Complaining about what we want to fix is acceptable but sharing what you love is considered conceited. My first thought when they said to think about 3 things you love about yourself? My calves. I have come to love my calves. My bf probably gets annoyed by how much I flex them just to show him the definition. I even texted him a picture from just above the knees down the other night because my legs just looked good! Other things I love about myself is my brain and all the knowledge I have in there, my independence and the things I have not been afraid to do because of it, and my strength that has gotten me through a lot. The last two could be tied together but I think they are separate... one gets me into situations and the other gets me through those situations.

So I ask you, "What are three things (or more) that you TRUELY love about yourself?"
What are the things you are afraid to shout to the world about you because you're afraid of being seen as bragging?

Also, I know you're reading my blog. I see that the count has people on here everyday and my foreign country count is decreasing... don't be afraid to comment.

Ok, now I'm hungry...

So I was doing pretty darn good on not being hungry. It isn't that I'm really hungry now even but more of what I am hungry for.

I WANT VEGGIES!!!

If I can't have fruit I suffer. If I can't have fruit or veggies?! I'm dying!!!! Yes I can have SOME veggies but between the candida diet and the ALCAT results I can eat lettuce and other greens, but not spinach. Oh, and celery. I was so excited the other night about eating spaghetti squash! I made some and just tossed it with diced tomatoes and some sausage. So DELICIOUS!!! And it was nice to eat something other than mainly meat.

Today I did cheat a little but the amount of restraint I had made me VERY proud. We went out for lunch at a Mexican restaurant and I didn't have one chip! None. Not a single crumb! I'm proud.

I did have a taco salad (no cheese or sour cream) with beef, beans, lettuce, and guac with a little green chili on it. MMMMMMmmmm.... And then I ate the crispy fried flour tortilla. :( Probably shouldn't have done that but I'm still proud that I didn't touch a chip. I can usually devour a whole basket easily on my own.

My weight maintained today and then I went to an interesting training and had some interesting interactions with my colleagues. I'm not sure how I feel about the year yet but I do know that I need to go to bed and start tomorrow.

Cleaning the Closet

Tomorrow teachers go back to work meaning today is officially the last day of summer. It is a sad and exciting occasion. My goal today was to get the house in complete order so that hopefully it can survive the next few weeks of pure exhaustion... I'm still working on the order part...

This morning I did get up and go workout at 5:30. I often wonder why I don't go to a later class, especially since I now know there is one at 9:15!!! ugh... But then I go and workout with our group of people and I like them. It is a small group and I have gotten to know more of them and the biggest thing is that I KNOW none of them judge me and my lack of ability. They may judge my being a wimp, but not my actual lack of ability. They are also all there to support me. When I go extra late on my workout there are a few that will stand by and cheer me on, even when everyone has to leave for work. I'm sure the afternoon classes have the same vibe after you get to know everyone, but I like the 5:30 group darn it! So, I go.

After my workout, shower, and nap, I decided to get going on my goal of a clean house. First? The laundry! Turns out I have either lost a bunch of it or I really wasn't as behind as I thought. I actually don't even have a complete load to wash. So I spent my time putting all the clean stuff away that has been housed in baskets in various states of folding. Heck, I even emptied the dresser and rearranged. I went through the closet and dresser and pulled out all the clothes I am not really attached to or just haven't worn in awhile. For example: the black dress purchased in 2011 that has been worn once and my chest is large enough I will not be wearing it again. And all those shirts that were tight on my arms? Don't think working out is going to help that issue. So I posted some in a local group on Facebook to sell and the rest all went in a box and bag to go to Goodwill.

I put all but one pair of dress pants in the box to go. *GASP* That leaves me with one pair of dress pants. Have no fear, I have a plan. Today I weighed myself and I'm down to 177. That's still a downward trend... So, the current plan is to take some of the extra money I'm putting towards student loans (now that I don't have to put it towards credit cards) and go on a shopping spree. At this rate I should be back down in size by Labor Day weekend as originally planned so I won't feel bad about finally spending the money. I also saw the shape some of my clothes were in and thought about how long I have had some of them... it is time.

So today I may not have done much else, but by golly, my closet is ready for me to drop a few more pounds and go shopping in a couple of weeks!

I'm not hungry.

So this weekend while cutting out sugars to attempt to start the Candida Diet, I was starving! I hadn't even cut out the foods from my new list yet and was dying! I was struggling to convince myself to stick to it and see what happens. Then Sunday afternoon I sat down and planned out my meals for the week. It was looking pretty bleak with what I could actually eat by combining the two diets and then to try and follow the rule of not eating the same thing two days in a row?! It was looking like a lot of celery...

Monday for the last minute class I had to take I made some BLT wraps with celery in them with the lettuce as the wrap. (Pork isn't officially on the Candida Diet but I had bacon in the fridge to finish and I'm working with limited options here people...) I was going to put hardboiled eggs in them too but they didn't cook fast enough so I threw two hardboiled eggs in separately along with some celery sticks to snack on. I was distracted talking to a fellow teacher at lunch time and wasn't very hungry so I ate the wraps, most of the celery, and left the eggs for later. A big win for the day was to have food, good sugar-filled food, placed in front of me and it didn't even sound that good. Dropping below 180 also helps keep your focus.... I also drank 100% of my water for the day. (Gold star for me!)

Snack when I got home was my two eggs left over from lunch and then some walnuts while I was making chicken for dinner. That's right, I got my chicken!!! Although it was kind of boring chicken that just tasted like chicken with extra lemon in the sauce so I added quinoa as a side to go with it. Wasn't that bad. I didn't eat a huge portion and yet I didn't have the need to snack or anything like that.

Today I packed leftovers to take with me to school so I could eat there while working on my room some. I know I'm not supposed to eat the same thing two days in a row but again, I'm lacking in options. Tonight I snacked on a few walnuts while frying up some hamburger with some tomatoes. Originally I had scheduled shrimp but that was going to be more effort and I wanted to grill them but it was lightening outside. I topped some roasted bok choy with the beef/tomato mixture and called it a meal. Was actually pretty tasty too! Then, I wasn't stuffed but I wasn't hungry. It was just the right amount of food for the day. I'm working on my last bottle of water to meet my quota for the day right now but overall I'm really proud.

I'm proud that I stuck with no sugar through the weekend.
I'm proud that I managed to lose a few pounds already.
I'm proud that I'm not being controlled by food.
I'm proud that I'm making this diet work and it is working for me.
Most of all I'm proud that I still have a very positive mindset about all of this. It has become a challenge for me to try and stick to the diet for 2 weeks without repeating foods 2 days in a row. I can master this!

Also, I would like to state for the record that I avoided the piece of gum in my desk today AND threw away a perfectly good sucker because let's be honest... do I really need to keep it around for later?

AND... I started keeping a food and exercise journal. I don't remember if I blogged about it or not... Officially I started in June but that didn't go as planned so I picked it back up last week. So far so good. I don't go into great detail on the food but right now my hope is just to track the kinds of food I'm eating on what day so I know how to space them out and to keep myself accountable for no sugar. Turns out, that other blog I read, the one that is doing the spending fast, she posted on Facebook about keeping a food journal too!

Things I have been reassured of by the world recently:
-Getting rid of negative people can only be better in the long run because you can't change them but they can easily change you
-Setting goals to never reach certain points in your life is something many people do and it can actually help
-Diets can be conquered without suffering if you're in the right mind set
-Keeping track of what you eat and do isn't crazy or insane, it is smart and helps keep you accountable

Those who are reading my blog feel free to share with your friends! I can see that some of you already are!

I missed a workout and I'm not upset!

So yesterday I was still a little sore from Friday's workout. Surprisingly I have been sore from workouts but it hasn't been as bad as it was when I started Crossfit in April. For example, in April when I started there were days where I could barely walk down the stairs and up them depended on the railings WAY more than they could probably handle. This weekend, my legs were sore but it only slowed me down a little while walking or when I was trying to get in or out of a vehicle. The ability to still walk and function at about 70-80% really helps with my mental state.

Friday was a shoulder killer (Wednesday wasn't nice to the shoulders either) and my shoulders are still feeling it. When I sit, like driving, there are times when my shoulder just tenses up and I have to try and stretch it out. My calf randomly cramps up too even when I'm standing! I blame bad shoes on concrete floors on Saturday for that though. So before I went to bed last night I checked the workout to see what I should be prepared for...

First there is always a warm up, then a different warm up that isn't on the site. Today was a skill day with something listed that I didn't know so I googled. Hollow Rocks? Yeah, those don't look like my back would be happy but they should be doable. Then the workout.... 60.... SIXTY...... SIXTY!!!!!! burpees.

That's it. That's the workout. SIXTY burpees. I can't do 10 in a row how am I supposed to do 60?! Seriously?! On a good day that would take me over about an hour. Really it would because I can't breathe and have to break. But on top of that I don't have the arm strength to hold myself up for any amount of time in a pushup position how am I supposed to do 60 burpees?!

Instead I decided to take another rest day and set my alarm for 7:00 instead of 4:30, 4:45, and 5:00. When I woke up I started to feel bad even though I know IF I could even finish the workout I wouldn't have felt that good about how I did anyway. Then I stepped on the scale.

One Seventy Eight!!!!! 178!!!! 1 7 8!!!!!!!! That's not just down to 180 (I was 181.6 Friday morning and haven't seen 180 in awhile) but below 180. And far enough below 180 that it isn't just a fluke. I might be more tomorrow but at most I would be 180. This weekend I wore some shorts that usually give me a good sized muffin top but didn't this weekend. I was hopeful but figured I was just imagining things. Turns out I actually did lose some weight. So long processed sugar!!!! I don't think I will be bringing it back for a long time. Keeping out sugar was the only change I made. I still ate peaches. I ate foods I'm not supposed to be eating according to the ALCAT.

I may not have made it to workout this morning but I lost almost 4 pounds this weekend!!! That is way better than yesterday. Also, I stuck to my diet and my planned meals today. I'm proud of myself for that and am excited to see what follows. Only about 5 more pounds and my waist should fit in my old pants... quads will be a different story, but that's for a different reason.

The Candida Diet

Well, I have done more research on the Candida Diet along with the ALCAT test I had done and a plan has been created. It is going to suck.

The Candida Diet is pretty much sugar free (no sugar, no fruits, no starchy veggies) along with no legumes, grains, or dairy. Of course there are exceptions in each category. My ALCAT test results say pretty much all meats and lots of veggies but mostly those that are legumes, starchy, or high in sugar... This is NOT helpful. I also read up on the ALCAT more and all foods not in the "green" category should be avoided for about 3 months to allow the body to flush things out and rebalance. Between the two diets that leaves me with lettuce/greens (but not spinach) and celery pretty much for veggies. After the 3 months I can add in "yellow" foods once every 4 days or so and the other categories should be farther apart than that.

So, my plan is currently strict no sugar and the Candida Diet to the best of my abilities for at least two weeks. At the end of the two weeks we will reevaluate and see where we are at. If everything is fine then I will add fruit and other veggies back in so I can actually eat more variety.

Also, just have to say how excited I am to eat all sorts of meat again! I had been limited to pork, turkey, and fish. Now all things are fair game! (Except lobster and halibut that I'm ok without anyway) This week's dinner menu includes CHICKEN for the first time in three years!!! (minus once which led to diarrhea for 3 days) That will be the night before two days off before returning to school. I'm excited beyond belief to have purchased chicken and beef tonight!

I also made my first ever batch of granola! It makes plain greek yogurt edible but doesn't make it something I will be dying to eat. It is something though!

Results are In!

My test results came! My test results came!

I had the ALCAT test done again (3 years ago was the last time) and the results have arrived at the Dr.'s office! I will go pick them up tomorrow but the email letting me know they are in did say that I show an issue with Candida. Commence Googling!

This link has a whole bunch of symptoms but the ones I do have would include: Irritability (especially when I'm sleepy), persistent extreme fatigue (I nap a LOT), acne, athlete's foot (got my first ever infection just in the last week or so), food sensitivities, inability to lose weight, heart palpitations, muscle aches and stiffness (the last few might be from working out).

So in all my research about what to do for it I have come to the conclusion that I HAVE to cut out sugar again. No more. Zero. I will keep fruit but will keep the intake in check for about a month (will be difficult in the middle of peach season) but the jury is out on fruit sugars since many sites conflicted with each other. Also sticking to a strict paleo diet; no grains, no dairy, no legumes. On top of that sticking to avoiding foods my body is sensitive to. That list I will get tomorrow!

I have mixed emotions about this. Part of me is excited because it is something that is fixable and can be changed to make me feel better. The other part of me is kind of freaked out that I have this issue. It is a very common issue though. Also exciting that it might help with the athlete's foot that I have. That bothers me too since it has taken me 28 years to get it for the first time, but the candida could also explain that. I am extremely thankful I don't have the yeast infection and UTI problems that typically accompany candida though, that's for sure!

Spending Fasts Make Me Giggle

A friend of a friend is currently doing a spending fast. I admire her for this and she is doing a GREAT job. Following her success has made me feel glad for her and then gets me thinking about doing a spending fast myself! Then I giggle to myself...

I have more student debt than I would like. I have a mortgage now (still WAY better than rent) and prior to my summer job pay coming in, I had credit card debt. A few years ago I began doing research on how to start paying off debt. The inspiration was the couple I was renting from who had purchased a duplex, rented the half they didn't live in, paid the whole thing off, and then purchased another house in town to move to. Great inspiration!

Many of the blogs, articles, etc. that I found had great suggestions! Obviously, stop unnecessary spending. Determine your wants vs. needs. Pay off the smallest bill and go from there snowballing your debt. Make more money. Coupon. Only buy things on sale or used.

These all sound great except for one thing... I'm a teacher and I already don't spend unnecessarily, already coupon (at times, now I don't eat/use many things that coupons come for), already question everything I purchase as to if it is a real need or not, and forgo spending on most things because I don't have the money.

For example, things the friend has determined as wants:
Eating Out- I only eat out when others ask which is generally once every other month during school and rare between. Eating out for me is difficult because of dietary restrictions so it is easier just to cook.
Books- I used to be bad about buying books but then I got tired of moving boxes of books. Most of my books are still text books. Then I discovered ebooks on my iPad from the library. Also, when I do buy a book it is generally either a discount book or a used book from Amazon.
Clothes- Really? The last clothes I purchased was because I literally couldn't fit any pants.
Bags- I was a Thirty-One consultant for awhile but most of my purchases were from hostess rewards for parties I hosted for myself
Music- Yeah... nope. I listen to Pandora (with the ads) or the radio.
Target- I dislike shopping and am boycotting Walmart but I still don't venture to Target often. Most of the time I only buy the items I went in for and can easily carry them.
Amazon- Generally my go to when I find something I think I need and look for a better price. Most of the time I end up putting it on my wish list and never actually buying it.
Apps- People actually pay for apps?!
Coffee- Not an issue for me as I DISLIKE coffee. I do stop at Starbucks once in awhile but only use all the gift cards from students I receive. (Seriously our band teacher made out with about $200 at Christmas in Starbucks.)
Family activities that cost money- With the lack of family it is helpful but I prefer to go hiking outside (free) if it is nice or have plenty of projects around the house to keep me occupied. I did purchase a museum membership this year but it has already paid for itself and I used my teacher ID to get a discount on it!
Makeup- Oh, am I supposed to be buying makeup?

I honestly don't know where else I could be saving money. Yesterday I FINALLY bought a rug for my living room. I went to 3 stores, check 3 websites, and finally settled on one. Originally I was going to purchase one that was less than $20 but wasn't in love with until I found the one I do like. I splurged and spent the $40 on the rug. I know, I know, I know... $40 rug?! Yep, I stressed about spending $40 on a rug that would have normally cost $90 or more. I have tried money making opportunities on the side and haven't made a huge amount. I avoid buying clothes even though I have none that fit because I plan on shrinking back into the ones I have. And the ones I have are so worn they need to be replaced!

I have seriously survived on $120 for a month (after all the bills have been paid) more than once. That means $30 a week for food and no extra things. And I don't spend much more than that in a normal month! So, when I think of doing a spending fast I giggle. I'm not sure there is any other places I could "fast" in my spending.

New Do, New Rug, and New Look

Last week I got a haircut. I went in and didn't know exactly what I wanted but I was shelling out the dough to go to my trusted hair dresser so I left it up to her. She mentioned the Khloe Kardashian lob and that's what we went with. I like it! It feels short but it really isn't that much less than what I had. It is something different though so it is exciting!

I ventured to IKEA again today. I'm a fan. I FINALLY bought a rug for my living room area. It has been more than a year and I finally spent the money one a rug. It is a little less colorful than I would like but it looks good! My dog who dislikes hard surfaces (the entire house) approves! 

Now for the new look... more like an outlook. Today is the first of August. Today is also the first Monday after my summer "job." This means it is day 1 of back to kicking my butt back into shape. No more slacking and back to Crossfit! I went and it was TOUGH. I was proud when I finally added up the weight on the bar for front squats to find I squatted 105#! But the workout was tough with 25 wall balls, 20 sit ups, and 15 burpees. Wall balls are hard to breathe through. Sit ups just hurt after about 10 while the burpees are KILLERS. I'm getting better at breathing through them but they are just tough. I only managed to do 2 of the 3 rounds. I honestly don't know how long it would have taken me to finish all three rounds had I kept at it. My body wasn't prepared for that much. BUT, I went and that is the important part. 

Just a little while ago I went to put my hair up in a ponytail and I saw myself differently. I haven't measured in awhile but I don't think I have changed in inches or anything but the way my arms were made my whole upper body look muscular! I was impressed! 

Also, there has been a huge weight lifted in the last few weeks. I was paid from my summer job and paid off my credit cards. Moving last year I had charged more on them than I liked and had been applying quite a bit each month towards them. That freed up the quite a bit to be applied to student loans. Instead of applying it all towards loans right away I have rewarded myself with things I've been putting off (like the rug) but also will be spending money on clothes! I'm so excited!!! But, I have spent quite a bit already this month on things around the house so I'm thinking Labor Day weekend (after the next pay day) will be clothes shopping weekend. I despise clothes shopping but am always excited about the new clothes. By postponing it until Labor Day weekend I am also hoping to drop some pounds around my waist. (Still waiting on the results of my ALCAT test) 

In preparation for clothes shopping and other events coming up (I just don't know what they are yet), I am going on the 6 days a week plan. MWF will be Crossfit as long as I can still walk on Fridays when I'm done. That may be a few weeks. Tues, Thurs, Sat will be cardio. I signed up for a 5k in 9 weeks which came with a personalized training plan. It is intervals but extremely slow build up and probably a good place to start with adding it to Crossfit. The first week is walking 4 min, run 1 min for 20 min. That should be very doable and might help with leg soreness. Plus, my doggie will appreciate the 4 min of walking. 

Wear a Bikini

So it has been on my mind a lot since in the last week I have seen and heard a lot about how women shouldn't be afraid to wear a swim suit but rather go out and enjoy their time with their kids. Or how they don't have the body for a two piece anymore so are down to wearing a one piece. Why?

I'm not skinny. I don't have what most would draw as a "bikini body." I wear two pieces. I don't even own a tankini anymore. Who is it exactly that gets to tell me I can't or shouldn't? Who has that power over me? I am an adult. I can wear mismatch clothes or ugly outfits if I want to. So who says what I don't get to wear?

There are dress codes yes. I follow them. I wouldn't go on a field trip with students in a two-piece. I don't even want to get in the water in anything less than shorts and a tshirt with students on trips. But when I'm an adult and at the pool or lake or river on my own I can wear what I want. So who tells you that you don't have the body?

Now I know there are hateful people out there. I know people will say and do things that will make you feel bad about yourself. My own family has been the ones to say things about my weight. Even this summer my mom told me that maybe I should lose some weight. But they don't get to control me. These hateful people in the world don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do. When I was in elementary school I was bullied. I delt with a lot of crap and in a small class it was difficult to get away from them. My parents and teachers taught me to not let it bother me. Turn the other cheek. They will stop if you don't let them know it gets to you. The bullies win if you change who you are because of them. This is what we teach children. Yes we also teach them that they shouldn't be mean and how to stand up to bullies. I'm a teacher. I teach both sides.

Again I ask, who has the power to tell you what you can and cannot wear?

The answer in my mind: You. That's it. Nobody else. (Dress codes aside as those do have a place in the world) I have found in all of my years that it isn't what you wear that matters but instead how you wear it. Whatever you choose to put on, strut it with confidence. Own it. I have seen some BAD outfits look really good just because of how the one wearing it holds herself.

So, wear a bikini. Wear a two piece. Wear a short skirt (but not too short cause then you might as well be wearing a swim suit) All that I ask is wear it with confidence for YOU.

I'm not the only one!

I went on the final trip of my summer "job" and it turns out I'm not the only one who has a number! I'm not crazy! I'm not the only one!

Through peer pressure I went running both mornings of the trip (the second morning was rough and should have been a rest day) and in talking to the other two teachers I went with it turns out having a weight that scares you isn't that crazy. One reached 201 lbs and went home and began running. She lost 60 lbs and has kept it off for ten years. Now she tries to run everyday. The other lady? She too saw how much she weighed and in January started making healthier choices and running. Now she is down 45 lbs and is still going and it took her getting over a weight she never thought she would get to. So apparently it isn't crazy to have a number that scares you. That makes you want to do everything you can to make the number go lower.

I feel bad about not talking to my friend anymore and one of her last texts to me said something about it being crazy and not right that I had such a fear of a number. Turns out it isn't that crazy after all! That makes me feel a little less guilty or upset by not talking to her. This is about me. This is about my number. This is about me doing what is good for me.

Joys of Homeownership

Well, first let me just say my goal of getting to Crossfit three times this week has been foiled! Wednesday they wouldn't let me be a baby and so my butt hurts!!!! Like literally... my glutes hurt. BF, friend, and I also have a 5k on Saturday so I feel like the ability to at least walk is probably important for that. So, I will be sleeping in tomorrow and then attempting to run the whole 5k. We shall see what happens but I did surprise myself last time!!!

Today was the day we all presented our learnings and take aways from the summer program I am doing. Tomorrow we are taking a field trip to a power station and then next Monday through Wednesday we are taking another trip to the West Slope of Colorado to explore out there some. I'm excited! And then I'm officially done with the summer program. Already have been paid. Already spent most of the money. Already looking forward to more summer. But first, I plan on spending a few days with the bf before he leaves for the weekend and I get to come clean my house! It really needs it. Napping every evening is NOT conducive to getting housework completed.

And then comes the joy of homeownership... The dishwasher stopped draining. This happened the other day and I didn't have time to mess with it. So, tonight I decided to put the dishes away and figure it out. Well, all the dishes are still damp from sitting in the dishwasher with water in the bottom. Google showed me how to remove the racks and so they are now on the counter full of clean dishes. Then, according to Google and YouTube I was able to begin taking apart the bottom spraying parts to clean the filters. I found there was a chunk of something and a wrapper down around the drain part, but needed to take out 6-8 screws to continue. I decided to see if it would drain. No luck.

Perhaps it was the float switch? I wiggled it a few times and it sounded ok. Some gunk came out of it though so I tried to get it to drain again... no luck. Wiggle some more and more google. Eventually the float switch finally popped off! It was kind of gross. So I cleaned it. Replaced it on there. More wiggling. Try to drain again. The water level decreased a little but not all the way.

So, off came the 6-8 screws along with more parts and then I couldn't get any other parts off again. No luck getting to the filter screens. Google said if it wasn't the screens then perhaps the air gap. Nope, don't have an air gap per say... it goes into it's own drain pipe with a trap at the bottom before flowing into the pipe the sink drains also go into. So I put everything back together in the dishwasher and decide to check the drain hose for clogs. I get the hose out of the pipe after a bit of a challenge due to the lack of space and the end of it is GROSS! But no clogs. So, I plug the hose to the disposal and run the rinse cycle. Nothing. Then I remember all the posts I've seen about people who didn't remove the plug on the disposal... silly me. Then I tried draining into a bucket and it works! Yay! So I know it sin't the dishwasher or the motor or anything like that... it is my drain. The kitchen sink drains fine and the hose drains fine so it must be in the trap between which is glued on. So for now I'm going to try to see if I can snake it to get the drain clear and if not I will have the experience of cutting out and replacing a drain trap. Yay!

In other news I went and had my ALCAT test done again today. Well, had the blood draw and dropped it off at FedEx. The Dr said 7-10 days but last time I had email results within about 3 days. I will try to wait patiently the 7-10. Perhaps I should write a post about just the ALCAT sometime next week? (I saw I had about 30 page views yesterday and got really excited I feel like I'm talking to someone now! But Russia appears to be my main audience...)