no, really, it does. My bathroom scale is usually within half a pound or so of the one at the gym. Today (and probably yesterday too) not so much...
First, this week has been rough. Monday was chaos at school and then Tuesday I made it to the gym and just had a blah day. I also gave in and ate a lot of candy. That may have been stress eating because of stuff that happened at school. We do classroom meetings on Mondays which is part of Restorative Justice Circles or one of the other many names they are given. Only because of chaos that was Monday our kids didn’t get their meeting time and instead had to clean up our rooms they made huge messes in. This led to us being told that we have to make up the time and shouldn’t plan our days like that again to avoid this in the future. Umm... wasn’t on purpose.
Then, I also get an email forwarded from the principal so I can “see the kudos” from a parent. Only it was also sent to our instructional coach and mentions how horrible my 6th period is and the parent was wanting to know what support I was getting to help with that. I think the parent did mean it in a good way and a “she is so awesome we want to help her keep being awesome” way but when your principal attaches the one who is supposed to help struggling teachers it feels like he isn’t thinking I can do my job.
Great way to feel.
So of course I’m worked up by the blame of skipping classroom meetings and the email when my team starts talking about it and yeah, we are not fans of these meetings. I loved the idea. It is who I am. I love getting to know kids and interacting with them without curriculum. But these kids just don’t buy in and make it the most painful 25 minutes of my week! Actually, it feels like it breaks down my relationships instead of building them. I build the relationships a lot through question time as a time filler in class. We alternate and I ask kids questions and they ask me. I will answer anything they ask but cannot guarantee they will like the answer. (Some personal questions I’m really vague about.) as a matter of fact I found out just that day that a student had spent the last 4 days in the hospital... same kid who has had some depression issues.
Meetings don’t work but nobody wants to hear it and we are in trouble for skipping them on accident. Kid makes me worry a LOT about him. And I feel like others think I can’t do my job. I ate a bit of candy. It was stress.
Wednesday I was shocked to see that I had lost another couple pounds and was down to 163. Thought that was weird for all the candy/sugar I ate... Today, Thursday, checked and weighed the same. Sweet! Till I went to the gym and weighed myself there to find I’m still at 165. That seems more like the way I feel.
Maybe I should replace the batteries that came with it 6 years ago?
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Progress Report
So I did alright last week going to the gym. I think I took Thursday off and took it easy on Tuesday. (And Friday because all the lifting stations were full!) I managed to drop a few pounds and even though the scale said I weighed less, it also said I increased my body fat percentage? That was weird so I’m throwing out that data point. It really could have been a fault with the scale thing and besides I wasn’t fast enough to snap a photo so it didn’t happen... right?
This weekend we went to the in-laws and my MIL made me gluten free brownies! A whole 8x8 pan just for me. I wasn’t going to have any but felt bad and gave into peer pressure. I ate two. The rest were sent home with me and went straight in the freezer. Someday they may come out but not now because I have a goal!
After the weekend I was back up to the weight I started this goal at. Stupid body. And I can say that because in the next 24 hours my body was able to tidbit itself of whatever it didn’t like and I was back to where I was weight wise Friday morning. Getting fit really is all about knowing your body.
So far this week I did a brief but difficult workout yesterday, started my period today, and allowed myself to sleep in. We have Parent/Teacher Conferences the next two nights so I won’t be home until after 10pm and my parents are here. Sometimes you just need the sleep to protect your sanity.
This weekend we went to the in-laws and my MIL made me gluten free brownies! A whole 8x8 pan just for me. I wasn’t going to have any but felt bad and gave into peer pressure. I ate two. The rest were sent home with me and went straight in the freezer. Someday they may come out but not now because I have a goal!
After the weekend I was back up to the weight I started this goal at. Stupid body. And I can say that because in the next 24 hours my body was able to tidbit itself of whatever it didn’t like and I was back to where I was weight wise Friday morning. Getting fit really is all about knowing your body.
So far this week I did a brief but difficult workout yesterday, started my period today, and allowed myself to sleep in. We have Parent/Teacher Conferences the next two nights so I won’t be home until after 10pm and my parents are here. Sometimes you just need the sleep to protect your sanity.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Mind Blowing Realization
While in the shower at the gym today I was brainstorming about that article (which may be more of a blog post, I don’t remember) which I want to write about when my thoughts led down an interesting path and has made me rethink my goals. (Sticking with the 20% though!)
While lathering up I was thinking about if I ever considered myself ‘fat’ and what my eating habits were like my freshmen year in high school when’s I went from 150 to 125 in three months. Me at 125 was a little scrawny but I had muscles. Before you panic and wonder why I dropped 25 pounds in three months, let me explain.
I would have been around the age of 14 and was weighing in around 150 and 5’4”. I was chunky but not ‘fat’ in my mind. My family however made me feel fatter than I was but still bought Totino’s pizzas and pizza rolls and curly fries and other junk so that’s all we really had to make ourselves for dinner. (Us being my sister and I who was still at home.) The oldest sister was skinny and somehow the middle sister and I were made to feel compared to her all the time. (Still are in many ways but Mon can’t really say she is winning the most fit part of the comparison anymore.)
Summer before freshmen year started and I joined the color guard. I went off to camp and by the time school was in full swing I was down to 125! I had practice every day after school in the heat and humidity. I was the only child at home and began to beg for healthier food options because I was tired of the same thing all the time. Healthier food became meat and cheese sandwiches and me cooking dinner like hamburger helper and such. Still not “healthy” but more variety than the past. I was just busier and not sitting at home eating all the time.
I should add that I don’t really blame my parents for the food we were raised on. They did what they could, made what they were used to, and that’s just life. We ate a lot of Shake-n-Bake chicken as a kid after mom went on a ban against fried food. (We never made homemade fried chicken anyway...) Bacon was only for BLT’s and that was like twice a year. Money was also tight so we had what was affordable.
Sophomore year I had still kept the weight off and I remember borrowing a size 3 dress to wear to homecoming. It did have a lace up back so I could get in and out of it but it was still a size THREE! Slowly, over time, mostly senior year, I gained weight and looking back attribute it a lot to stress. Life of a teen compounded by my loving mother and being the only child left at home made up a lot of the stress. When I went to Hawaii on a band trip just after graduation I was not comfortable with my weight. I had spent time at the gym with a friend for months trying to get into shape but didn’t have a clue what we were doing. I felt fat for the first time. Doesn’t help when you show your dad a group photo when you get back and he can’t spot you.... in the center... very clearly... and responds with “I didn’t realize you had gained that much weight.” Yeah.
Reflecting on it this morning my thought went something like: I managed to go from 125/130ish all the way to 160ish pounds and I felt so fat and gross. (I do understand that 160 is not fat and am not judging. Promise.)Then it hit me...
I am happy to be approaching 165 this morning and couldn’t have been more proud! Holy Shit! My old ‘fat’ weight has become my new skinny weight. The lowest I think I would look ok at is 150 but it would be lucky for me to get there. Even looking back at that photo not much is different about me.
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! So, I’m still aiming for 20% body fat but no longer am I afraid of losing 30 pounds. Again, I don’t plan on losing all of it but turning some of it to muscle. But, no longer am I going to be ok with thinking I’m where I should be and the charts lie when I’m at the same weight ish I was when I thought I was ‘fat.’
Changing the mindset.
Was going to attach photos but they don’t want to upload easily from my phone. I’ll try later.
While lathering up I was thinking about if I ever considered myself ‘fat’ and what my eating habits were like my freshmen year in high school when’s I went from 150 to 125 in three months. Me at 125 was a little scrawny but I had muscles. Before you panic and wonder why I dropped 25 pounds in three months, let me explain.
I would have been around the age of 14 and was weighing in around 150 and 5’4”. I was chunky but not ‘fat’ in my mind. My family however made me feel fatter than I was but still bought Totino’s pizzas and pizza rolls and curly fries and other junk so that’s all we really had to make ourselves for dinner. (Us being my sister and I who was still at home.) The oldest sister was skinny and somehow the middle sister and I were made to feel compared to her all the time. (Still are in many ways but Mon can’t really say she is winning the most fit part of the comparison anymore.)
Summer before freshmen year started and I joined the color guard. I went off to camp and by the time school was in full swing I was down to 125! I had practice every day after school in the heat and humidity. I was the only child at home and began to beg for healthier food options because I was tired of the same thing all the time. Healthier food became meat and cheese sandwiches and me cooking dinner like hamburger helper and such. Still not “healthy” but more variety than the past. I was just busier and not sitting at home eating all the time.
I should add that I don’t really blame my parents for the food we were raised on. They did what they could, made what they were used to, and that’s just life. We ate a lot of Shake-n-Bake chicken as a kid after mom went on a ban against fried food. (We never made homemade fried chicken anyway...) Bacon was only for BLT’s and that was like twice a year. Money was also tight so we had what was affordable.
Sophomore year I had still kept the weight off and I remember borrowing a size 3 dress to wear to homecoming. It did have a lace up back so I could get in and out of it but it was still a size THREE! Slowly, over time, mostly senior year, I gained weight and looking back attribute it a lot to stress. Life of a teen compounded by my loving mother and being the only child left at home made up a lot of the stress. When I went to Hawaii on a band trip just after graduation I was not comfortable with my weight. I had spent time at the gym with a friend for months trying to get into shape but didn’t have a clue what we were doing. I felt fat for the first time. Doesn’t help when you show your dad a group photo when you get back and he can’t spot you.... in the center... very clearly... and responds with “I didn’t realize you had gained that much weight.” Yeah.
Reflecting on it this morning my thought went something like: I managed to go from 125/130ish all the way to 160ish pounds and I felt so fat and gross. (I do understand that 160 is not fat and am not judging. Promise.)Then it hit me...
I am happy to be approaching 165 this morning and couldn’t have been more proud! Holy Shit! My old ‘fat’ weight has become my new skinny weight. The lowest I think I would look ok at is 150 but it would be lucky for me to get there. Even looking back at that photo not much is different about me.
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! So, I’m still aiming for 20% body fat but no longer am I afraid of losing 30 pounds. Again, I don’t plan on losing all of it but turning some of it to muscle. But, no longer am I going to be ok with thinking I’m where I should be and the charts lie when I’m at the same weight ish I was when I thought I was ‘fat.’
Changing the mindset.
Was going to attach photos but they don’t want to upload easily from my phone. I’ll try later.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Let’s Try This Again
Ironically I’m back on public transit, on my phone and posting this. Just looked back at the last post and some themes seem odd exist...
First, I am rocking day 4 of no processed sugars. I have a new goal, but more on that in a minute, and it has given me something to strive for. And I REALLY want to meet that goal!
Second, I was thinking this morning about how I may be rocking it this time because I’m not on my period or starting my period. If I can get in the habit BEFORE all the massive cravings happen that should help. Posted about that in the last post too!
So, this new goal you ask? Ok. I want to get to 20% body fat. 15% is dangerous for women and 18% can start to have negative effects for some. I figure 20% should be alright and is already a lofty goal. Not impossible, just going to need to work for it. And so far I am and am staying motivated!
What started this? Well, I read an article someone shared on twitter and want to post about that, but that’s another day. Part of it talks about overweight people knowing what to do but not doing it. I don’t see myself as overweight but my BMI says I am and studies somewhere have to link that to health issues. So I figured it is time to buckle down again and just do it!
This morning I woke up and went to check the time but my phone wouldn’t light up. It was 3:46am. I had set an alarm for 3:45 but the phone wouldn’t turn on so... no snooze for me! I got up and went to the gym. Did my workout and off to work I went. But I am stopping on my way home for an alarm clock; the phone is beyond trust. (Factory reset seems to have fixed errors but I’m not going to trust it.)
Currently I am at 36% body fat and 167ish lbs. I did some math and if I just lose fat I will need to lose just under 30 pounds. That’s a little intimidating and puts me at a REALLY low weight. I’m not sure I’d look healthy at that weight so the plan isn’t to replace some of that fat with muscle. This will be achieved by weights/CrossFit style workouts 3 days a week. After a month to adjust to that November will begin three day weights/workouts with 2 days of cardio. I signed up for the marathon relay again and want to get into better shape for it. Once life calms down I’d like to start doing more 5k’s again too. So cardio needs to be worked in.
Other than that I’m going for a more strict Paleo style diet and seeing how it goes. So far, not bad. I did eat BBQ sauce yesterday though that I know had sugars in it... but I did limit the amount! I also discovered my afternoon headaches are probably caused by my lack of salt so salted nuts are now in my drawer to snack on. They aren’t my favorite but I will gladly take them over headaches any day.
So, hopefully this time I can stick with the updates and actually have things to update on. We shall see.
Happy Monday!
First, I am rocking day 4 of no processed sugars. I have a new goal, but more on that in a minute, and it has given me something to strive for. And I REALLY want to meet that goal!
Second, I was thinking this morning about how I may be rocking it this time because I’m not on my period or starting my period. If I can get in the habit BEFORE all the massive cravings happen that should help. Posted about that in the last post too!
So, this new goal you ask? Ok. I want to get to 20% body fat. 15% is dangerous for women and 18% can start to have negative effects for some. I figure 20% should be alright and is already a lofty goal. Not impossible, just going to need to work for it. And so far I am and am staying motivated!
What started this? Well, I read an article someone shared on twitter and want to post about that, but that’s another day. Part of it talks about overweight people knowing what to do but not doing it. I don’t see myself as overweight but my BMI says I am and studies somewhere have to link that to health issues. So I figured it is time to buckle down again and just do it!
This morning I woke up and went to check the time but my phone wouldn’t light up. It was 3:46am. I had set an alarm for 3:45 but the phone wouldn’t turn on so... no snooze for me! I got up and went to the gym. Did my workout and off to work I went. But I am stopping on my way home for an alarm clock; the phone is beyond trust. (Factory reset seems to have fixed errors but I’m not going to trust it.)
Currently I am at 36% body fat and 167ish lbs. I did some math and if I just lose fat I will need to lose just under 30 pounds. That’s a little intimidating and puts me at a REALLY low weight. I’m not sure I’d look healthy at that weight so the plan isn’t to replace some of that fat with muscle. This will be achieved by weights/CrossFit style workouts 3 days a week. After a month to adjust to that November will begin three day weights/workouts with 2 days of cardio. I signed up for the marathon relay again and want to get into better shape for it. Once life calms down I’d like to start doing more 5k’s again too. So cardio needs to be worked in.
Other than that I’m going for a more strict Paleo style diet and seeing how it goes. So far, not bad. I did eat BBQ sauce yesterday though that I know had sugars in it... but I did limit the amount! I also discovered my afternoon headaches are probably caused by my lack of salt so salted nuts are now in my drawer to snack on. They aren’t my favorite but I will gladly take them over headaches any day.
So, hopefully this time I can stick with the updates and actually have things to update on. We shall see.
Happy Monday!
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