Now What?! and Lovin' the Legs

It is summer!!! I'm done with the year. Kids are off to high school. My room is empty. I'm all checked out for the summer. And now what?!

This year feels weird since I didn't have the normal events along the way. All fall I was worried about Jamaica in January so it became my big marker for the winter instead of Winter Break. Then when you come back and suddenly it is February it doesn't feel normal. The end of the year is normally a time where you begin dreading time with students. You're trying to fill the last few days with meaningful assignments while trying to not create more grading for yourself and not let the kids in on the fact that there really is no reason to keep going in curriculum when you've finished everything and are just killing time. Then there is the mess of locker clean out and last minute grade graveling. I missed three days in the last full week of school and somehow it doesn't seem like summer yet. It is a strange feeling. I will take summer, don't get me wrong, it has been long awaited... but just seems different this year.

Also, I would like to mention I have come to like my legs. :)

While I was at the reception last weekend I wore a short dress. I was sitting at the reception and looked down at one point. My legs, no matter how in shape, have always flattened out when I sit down in shorts or a skirt. They look REALLY large when this happens and often I find myself sitting with my heels up to avoid squishing my thighs against the seat. Or crossing my legs to try and hide the squish a little. This time I looked down and was shocked! My thighs don't squish anymore. Weirdest thing but true. I guess that I have built enough strength in my quads and hamstrings that they just don't flatten out. I knew they were getting less giggle but didn't think this would happen.

Then I went to 8th Grade Continuation this week. Final send off for all the students. I wore a dress I haven't worn in a long time and it is designed to look like a shirt with a high waist pencil skirt. The skirt goes down to just above the knee and it is cute. This time I looked awesome! My arms are still pretty wide when pressed to my side but I learned that if I hold them out slightly it takes off about 10 pounds and you can see slight definition some times. I also wore heels! Man did my legs look good. I even managed to dance in heels for awhile and when I got home I felt amazing. For the first time in a long time I felt great about how I look. My legs make me feel great.

I still struggle with the idea that I can't wear my pants. I had to buy pants and they don't even fit right... but I will still take the win! So although I'm more sore today (workout and dancing in heels) than I was yesterday, I do have to say I also love my legs better than yesterday.

Two Months and a Wedding Reception

It has been two months now of Crossfit. I joined so that I could reach my goal of losing weight and the dress I wore in January not fitting for the reception in May. I fit the dress still. It can be a challenge to zip up over my rib cage (because I will never be able to get that to shrink) and managed to weigh 5 lbs more this morning when I got up. Snacking while driving all day probably didn't help that.

So, I didn't reach either of my goals but I do think the weight will dip back down in a day or two after I get settled back in and get back in a routine. Which will change again soon since I am done with school after Wednesday! Woot! I did notice that the weird side boob fat was gone for the most part. It is weird when I look down or do something and notice the fat by my armpits isn't there anymore. That's something I have had for a LONG time. I'm ok with it being gone, don't get me wrong, but it is just something you never thought you would notice as much.

But for now I will be going back to Crossfit and getting back with the program.I'm kind of dreading it actually. I plan on going on Tuesday and Thursday this week to ease back in after a week of no workouts after a week of one work out after a week of TORTURE! I was supposed to go while I was visiting my home town for the reception but I was lazy. I had been driving all day and just wanted to talk to people and hang out with them since I hadn't seen them in forever. I thought about going this morning but instead I enjoyed a few more minutes in bed before having to get up and spend my last full schedule day with students. This was necessary after a 12 hour drive on Sunday. And, I am camping this weekend so Tues/Thurs will be a nice break. Then I will be missing Monday for the camping trip and will get plenty of hiking done instead. Back on the band wagon on Wednesday.

My new goal is to fit back into my dress pants by Fall so I don't feel bad about having to buy a whole new wardrobe for school. My pants are all getting worn out and should be replaced anyway but I am also still not fitting in my pants. Although I can fit into some shorts from last summer!

I skipped a day...

I skipped Monday's workout. Didn't go in the morning or the evening. There is a little guilt, but I think it was for the best.

Friday's workout was a KILLER!!! Seriously... I did a total of 500 jump ropes, 30 sit-ups, 2 min total of planks (I broke it up), and 200 squats. Needless to say, my quads were BEAT. I then went to school and jumped on a charter bus with the band kids to chaperone their overnight trip. Saturday was when I really started to feel it. I could barely get on the bus without using the hand rails. At one point I grabbed a case of water, got my foot on the first step and then had to yell for one of the parents to come get it from me because I physically could not step up with the extra weight.

Sunday I slept. A lot. I went to bed about 10:30 Saturday night and slept till almost 9 the next morning. Normally I'm up by 7 at the latest. Then I laid down for a nap at about 12:30 and slept till almost 4! I was in bed and asleep by 8:30 that night and slept all the way until 4:45 when my alarm starts to go off for working out. I had convinced myself that I would work through whatever they gave if it wasn't a lot of quad work. When I woke up I saw it was ALL quad work with weight! Yeah, that wasn't happening... I walked the dog for an hour instead. That way I got some exercise and I was able to hopefully loosen the quads a little.

Today I woke up and made sure I went. I looked and it was an "easy" workout so no excuses this time. Also, when I say "easy" work out I mean it is one that will still kick your butt only it is a slow and less quick butt kicking. I survived. 13:30 to do 10 rounds of 10 wallballs and 5 pull-ups. (Jumping pull ups of course but they are easier than before!!!)


Last week I also broke down and bought new pants. I got a pair of dress pants (open house thing next week), a pair of crop pants (something school appropriate since I don't like wearing shorts to school), and a pair of shorts (for chaperoning the field trip). The whole time wearing the crop pants and shorts I fought to keep them up! So annoying when you buy new pants so they fit and they keep falling down. Now I need a new belt.

So far there is some weight loss. I will try to update the measurements I took yesterday and last week. As of right now though I have been EXACTLY the same weight three mornings in a row... strange, But, it is 3 lbs lighter than what was showing on the scale so I will take it!

Today's win is the fact that 5 jumping pull-ups in a row at the end of 10 rounds was a breeze! Way better than yesterday.

Feeling Bipolar & Good Form

I get home from a workout and I feel great! I feel like I could conquer the world. My body feels great. Weights were lifted that I've never lifted before. Nothing I couldn't do!

Step on the scale and see no change. *sigh* It isn't about the number. It isn't about the number. It isn't about the number.

Then I try to get dressed. Which sweater and legging combo do I want today? Oh, today was going to be 76... so now what?! I'll roast in a sweater! This morning I got brave and tried on a pair of dress pants. I checked the sizes of all of them and picked the largest. Before even trying to button them I noticed how tight they are on my thighs. That's what you get when you start getting more quads under your fat right? Then the button.

I did it.


I buttoned them.


Then I zipped them.



DON'T BREATHE OR MOVE A MUSCLE!!!!



Yep, I could button and zip them but I was prepared for the button to fly off and the zipper to rip out at any second. If I never had to move today I would have been fine. Is that realistic? NO! So they came off right away. The capris I used to wear before I lost enough weight to buy the dress pants, so hopefully a larger size, couldn't even get over the bottom half of my thighs.

EVERY feeling of accomplishment goes right out the window. I'm suddenly back to feeling like crap and so frustrated. This is my fifth week of Crossfit and I've seen little results. I did what I wasn't going to until next week and I tried on the dress. The dress that I wore for the wedding in Jamaica in January. The dress that I am supposed to wear again in less than two weeks. THAT dress. AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD....... I can't zip it.

Slight meltdown after that one. So now I have been strict with the fasting and diet. The fasting I think made some progress last week but I went out with the bf and his parents for lunch on Sunday. I had a gf pizza and was a little sluggish Monday. Tuesday included some bad gas. The bf was over for dinner so I was polite and didn't expose him to such vapors. It was probably a good thing too because it wasn't just gas that came out later when I farted in the toilet. This morning was a little remaining upset too so I skipped the workout. I didn't want to know what THAT accident felt like... But I did go this evening.

That leads me to my second topic... Good Form.

A few weeks back the usual morning coach mentioned he saw potential in me. I didn't know what to say or how to take that. I'm not always great at accepting compliments and based on the work environment I'm currently in I was waiting for the "but..." I thought it was weird. Then I was thinking that as a newbie and weak and one of the last ones to finish with modified workouts (now I finish before one of the ladies but she does it RX) that is something a coach would say to keep me going. Telling the new girl she might have potential should keep her going right?

Well, today I went to the evening class. (See above for the reason.) I crack up when people ask if they have met me or if I'm new and I tell them I usually work out in the morning. Today was the usual, "Oh, you're one of THOSE people." Cracks me up. Then I am getting ready to leave after finishing the workout last, but not too far behind and with more weight that ever. The coach who I don't know if I have ever met before came up and told me that I had great form?! Maybe I'm good at this thing?

So, I'm back on cloud nine and feeling strong and powerful.... at least until I have to find clothes to wear tomorrow. If it doesn't change then tomorrow I might be clothes shopping... Ugh.

Today my lesson was better than yesterday and watching the kids be excited about it totally made my day and reminded me why I do what I do for so little pay.