I get home from a workout and I feel great! I feel like I could conquer the world. My body feels great. Weights were lifted that I've never lifted before. Nothing I couldn't do!
Step on the scale and see no change. *sigh* It isn't about the number. It isn't about the number. It isn't about the number.
Then I try to get dressed. Which sweater and legging combo do I want today? Oh, today was going to be 76... so now what?! I'll roast in a sweater! This morning I got brave and tried on a pair of dress pants. I checked the sizes of all of them and picked the largest. Before even trying to button them I noticed how tight they are on my thighs. That's what you get when you start getting more quads under your fat right? Then the button.
I did it.
I buttoned them.
Then I zipped them.
DON'T BREATHE OR MOVE A MUSCLE!!!!
Yep, I could button and zip them but I was prepared for the button to fly off and the zipper to rip out at any second. If I never had to move today I would have been fine. Is that realistic? NO! So they came off right away. The capris I used to wear before I lost enough weight to buy the dress pants, so hopefully a larger size, couldn't even get over the bottom half of my thighs.
EVERY feeling of accomplishment goes right out the window. I'm suddenly back to feeling like crap and so frustrated. This is my fifth week of Crossfit and I've seen little results. I did what I wasn't going to until next week and I tried on the dress. The dress that I wore for the wedding in Jamaica in January. The dress that I am supposed to wear again in less than two weeks. THAT dress. AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD....... I can't zip it.
Slight meltdown after that one. So now I have been strict with the fasting and diet. The fasting I think made some progress last week but I went out with the bf and his parents for lunch on Sunday. I had a gf pizza and was a little sluggish Monday. Tuesday included some bad gas. The bf was over for dinner so I was polite and didn't expose him to such vapors. It was probably a good thing too because it wasn't just gas that came out later when I farted in the toilet. This morning was a little remaining upset too so I skipped the workout. I didn't want to know what THAT accident felt like... But I did go this evening.
That leads me to my second topic... Good Form.
A few weeks back the usual morning coach mentioned he saw potential in me. I didn't know what to say or how to take that. I'm not always great at accepting compliments and based on the work environment I'm currently in I was waiting for the "but..." I thought it was weird. Then I was thinking that as a newbie and weak and one of the last ones to finish with modified workouts (now I finish before one of the ladies but she does it RX) that is something a coach would say to keep me going. Telling the new girl she might have potential should keep her going right?
Well, today I went to the evening class. (See above for the reason.) I crack up when people ask if they have met me or if I'm new and I tell them I usually work out in the morning. Today was the usual, "Oh, you're one of THOSE people." Cracks me up. Then I am getting ready to leave after finishing the workout last, but not too far behind and with more weight that ever. The coach who I don't know if I have ever met before came up and told me that I had great form?! Maybe I'm good at this thing?
So, I'm back on cloud nine and feeling strong and powerful.... at least until I have to find clothes to wear tomorrow. If it doesn't change then tomorrow I might be clothes shopping... Ugh.
Today my lesson was better than yesterday and watching the kids be excited about it totally made my day and reminded me why I do what I do for so little pay.
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