The Downside of Losing Weight

So everyone thinks losing weight is all happiness right? I mean you feel better, you look better, you feel you look better, you are happier, you're healthier (for most of us, not always is losing weight healthy). Why should anyone be upset about dropping a few pounds?!

Ask my bank account.

So the food isn't as cheap as all the junk I used to eat. I know. PB&J's are cheaper than actually cooking. Eating the amount of meat I have been in the last few weeks isn't cheap, not to mention trying to eat fruits and veggies too. But, I shop when things are on sale and base my meals around that. I buy in larger amounts when there is a good deal and freeze it. I am trying to make extras of stuff to freeze also. For example: ground beef was on sale last week, so was ground turkey, so I made four pounds worth of meatballs and froze them. Now I have quick weeknight meal when I need one. The fiance's vacuum sealer he received from me for Christmas is getting used, that's for sure.

If it isn't the food then what could it be?!

Clothes.

Remember back this summer when I was avoiding buying clothes at all costs? Remember that "friend" who told me it is dumb to not want to buy clothes that fit? Yeah, that was because I wanted to lose the weight and didn't want to spend the money just to shrink out of the new clothes. I don't have money to just flush down the drain like that.

Well, I broke down and purchased some new jeans and dress pants. A couple shirts were also thrown in. Now? Now I can't fit them. The dress pants fall off of me. The stretch denim capris are baggy. The workout pants are loose and fall off!!! I have a pair of dress pants that I found in the closet that needed to be hemmed. I've worn them once... now TOO BIG. Just this morning I found another pair of jeans I forgot I had purchased because they also needed to be hemmed... I'm sure they don't fit anymore either!

Now what do I do?! I need a third job just to pay for a new wardrobe that fits!

Current plan is to have a yard sale and sell my wardrobe to help pay for a new one. We will see how that goes...

Whole30 Go For it!

I have been following a strict Whole 30 diet for the whole month of March (so far). I was feeling better but now my stomach is messed up. I think it has to do with candida again.

I haven't actually had any terrible cravings. One night I wanted something sweet so I stopped at the store and picked up some bananas and frozen fruit for a smoothie. I have taken a real liking to frozen fruit, a banana, and some coconut milk to make a smoothie. In the morning I decided to add some cocoa powder to mix it up a little. It has been a LONG time since I have made brownies, but I'm pretty sure my brain thought I was drinking the batter! It was SOOOOOO GOOOOD!!!!

Since this summer I have lost 20 lbs. That's right, 20 lbs. Someone asked me the other day how much I had lost because I was looking so good. (A perk about never seeing your coworkers, they notice differences.) It hit me after I replied, twenty pounds, that HOLY CRAP!!! I've lost TWENTY POUNDS!!! I have never been the one who is always talking about "I just need to lose 10 lbs" or anything like that. But I realized I lost a bag of dog food worth of weight, two large bags of potatoes worth, just less than half my dog worth! No wonder running is easier these days, I'm not carrying a ton of weight around anymore! Also, made me realize just how much weight I had gained in a year.

It has taken a long time, but it sure feels good to be hovering around 162 lbs again. I saw 158 once and am hoping to see it again. This Whole30 thing should continue to help with that goal. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I saw 140 anything.

Spring? *updated*

It is hard to remember that it is still winter. We are in the "Spring Semester" and the weather is wonderful! I'm sure it will change again shortly but for now it is hard to remember that it isn't officially spring. Now, the spring semester is when I seem to get the busiest. Weekends are booked and busy along with evenings and week days. I didn't even look to see when the last time I had a moment to blog was.

I'm still doing alright with the workouts. Minus the illness of last weekend (flu is no fun) I have been going on a semi-regular basis. It is challenging when I'm not home in the mornings or am getting behind on grading and HAVE to get grades updated.

In the diet area I have been slacking. I have gotten in the habit of allowing myself food I shouldn't have once a week. That turned into once a week and anytime I was in a hurry. That turned into anytime I kind of wanted food I shouldn't have. Last weekend I was chaperoning a field trip and rather than packing food I opted to eat the food there and what we bought the kids. I ate WAY too much pizza on Friday night which led to waking up feeling HORRIBLE and puking. It was one of those situations where I didn't want to puke but knew it would make me feel so much better if I did. Then I ended up puking and was asking myself why I hadn't just done that earlier. I regretted eating pizza so much since I was assuming it was just my body rejecting all the gluten and cheese and grease and butter and garlic and... I'm getting an upset stomach just talking about it.

Well, turns out one of the teachers I work with had a kid down with a 24 hour stomach bug. I then determined that must be my issue when I had completely emptied my stomach and was still puking. But, everything tasted like pizza for 24 hours and I am now against pizza. I don't even really want a tomato sauce on anything yet either.

So I decided it was the kick in the pants that I needed. My weight loss has stopped and I know it is the diet. I also haven't been feeling great. I haven't been liking my job. I have noticed a lot going downhill in my attitude so it is time to get back on track. I know food leads to a lot of this. Also, my dog has been diagnosed with diabetes so in researching that more I have been reflecting on my own diet and blood sugar fluctuations. I want so much to get back to being fat adapted! So, March 1st I started a Whole 30. Three days have been good so far and I have some food plans for this week laid out. Already I have dropped about 6 lbs. Inches are about the same, but I have dropped some weight.

Then I got curious when I was looking back at how much I weighed and decided to pull up the original picture from when I started Crossfit. I found it was the end of March (I thought it was the beginning) when I started Crossfit and took some new pictures. I see some changes but nothing that dramatic. I'm still really proud of myself and what I've accomplished. The fact that I can do some of the workouts without feeling like I'm going to die is a great feeling! Also, I'm working towards a 10k distance and it is a good feeling to be able to get on a treadmill and do a walk/run training program and complete almost 3 miles in my last 5k time. And that includes walking!!!

**Update**
After posting this I went on about what I was doing and stumbled upon a post that led me to ask a friend about the former friend who I am no longer friends with. She is going through a very exciting time in her life and I had mixed feelings. I'm sad that I'm not there to experience it all with her. I thought about sending her a message but I have thought about this in the past and don't want to open that can of worms. I thought about sending her a card just to let her know that I'm excited for her but again, I don't want to open that can of worms. She could get the card and find it a nice gesture and go on with her life. She could get the card and want to start talking again. She could get the card and it could fire back up all the bad feelings towards me. She could fire up those feelings and lash out. These go from ideal to what I am completely trying to avoid in the first place. So I was having mixed emotions and decided to just wait and see what I feel in a few days. As I closed all my browser windows there were my two pictures I made part of this post.

Suddenly I see a HUGE difference. I see myself as a much happier person. Instead of focusing on where I don't want to be I focus on how close to where I want to be I actually am. I work and change the world daily. I'm planning a wedding to a guy that makes me smile and makes me happier than I could have ever imagined. I bought a dress that I LOVE and adore and can't believe I will actually be getting married in. I am counting down the days to when I get to spend every day with my husband. I have stress but it is stress related to MY life. I don't let others stress me out as much. Even listening to the people I used to work with I realize all we ever did was complain and now I am WAY more positive and choose to focus on the positives.

THIS I don't ever want to give up. This, sadly, I think is all directly related to losing someone I called my best friend. I always tried my hardest to help her be happy and at the same time I lost my own happiness. As I said then and still say, losing her as a friend isn't about her, it is all about me. It has been too long since I have actually focused on me and worked more on becoming who I want to be rather than trying to be the one who helps everyone else.

I found that I had saved this picture while looking for my "before" photo and I think it says it all.

Now I see someone in the current picture who is figuring out how to swim on the surface again. THAT is why I started Crossfit and working on myself. THAT is why I gave up the friend I was closest to in the whole world. THAT is why I continue this journey. It isn't about weight or numbers or looks, it is about how I feel. Always has been, always will be.... be about me.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Last week I set the goal of eating all Whole30 or at least Paleo to help kick the sugar issues that I have and to get back on track. This has sort of been my whole goal since Halloween time but last week I said it was going to happen! Two weeks till Thanksgiving break, a trip, a turkey, and all the overeating that goes with the above. So, two weeks to reset and make better choices to hopefully help curb all the bad habits over break.

Well, last week was a horrible week when examined up close but when I step back it was actually a great week. Up close it included some late nights at school to get grading and other things taken care of, some crazy time where kids were building constantly on their projects, an election that has led to the worry of a possible pay cuts (definitely not getting raises next year) based on not passing some school funding items, and some really stressful times. But, when I step back I see a week where kids were able to create unexplainable project pieces, rock a presentation to their parents, cook some great food for teachers, and overall show that they are great and why I do what I do.

That being said I was invited to Pizza and Punch by students in the FACS class. I was ecstatic because all of last year I never received an invite for their days to cook for teachers and this year I was invited right away! How can you turn down a chance to sit with students who want you to be there and eat some delicious pizza? It was amazing! Just... it wasn't paleo...

Then Thursday came along. I was tired, had cramps, a to do list a mile long, and just wanted to curl up and go back to bed. Instead I had to be at school, had to get a video made, round up photos, organize some stuff, and put on a happy face until 8pm while students showed off their projects. So, when the math teacher walked in with donuts I may have eaten one... or four... throughout the day. Then, for dinner the other teachers who ran to the store to get sides for our pulled pork brought back cheesecake and berries. How could I resist?! It was a rough, emotional day. Friday I may have helped finish off more cheesecake even though I'm not proud of it.

So, I had some wins in that I kept the cravings down until the end of the week. I even went to the candy drawer, dug through it, and none of the candy sounded good so I closed it and walked away. But I did give in at the end of the week big time!

This week is a new week and everyday is a new day. Today I saw 169 on the scale for the second time in a week. That is a HUGE win!!! I will take it and use it as incentive to keep going. :)

So today I was better at getting my workout in, drinking more water, and avoiding the last of the cheesecake along with other things I shouldn't eat.

Halloween

Well, I survived Halloween!

This weekend the bf and I carved pumpkins and they were adorable. Then I came home so I could workout on Monday morning. It was difficult to get up in the morning but the workout was good. We did Fight Gone Bad again! I talked about it in my Week 3 post from April. I looked it back up and saw that my score was 179 in April. Monday I tallied up 182! It isn't a huge difference but it is an improvement. :) Just gotta be better than yesterday.

Monday night the bf and I handed out candy for trick-or-treaters and I cooked. I made caramel popcorn balls, chili, and cornbread. I was going to do a Paleo chili but I'm not supposed to have zucchini and that's a big veggie used in place of beans. Also I figured that my list says legumes are approved so I opted for beans. I made a huge pot full and then froze some and put some away for lunches. This led me to find that I should stop thinking my freezer is empty.

I'm also part of a group of positive, encouraging women and the leader mentioned starting a Whole30 for November. I have wanted to do a Whole30 round before but have never found enough food I am supposed to eat on the list of foods I should eat. So all day today I thought about it. Then, as I finally finished entering grades at 5pm and packed up to head home, I decided that this week it just won't happen. I need time to plan and shop. My goal for this week is to keep drinking lots of water, eat mostly Whole30, and only allow one meal a day to be a healthy, non-Whole30 meal.

My bf said he would also do the diet with me for support but I'm thinking it may have something to do with all the candy we ate last night making us feel so bad this morning... I also haven't done measurements for November because I've gained about 5 lbs from eating KALE SALAD (seriously... kale salad... there is really truth to this ALCAT test...) and then pigging out on candy last night didn't help.

So, now it is time to do more research. :)

Happy November!!!

Nutrition Talk

Today the Crossfit Gym (I know it is called a "box" but I'm not on that level in my mind yet...) had a talk about nutrition. I didn't really feel like getting off the couch but I figured it would do me some good to get outside again today. So, I went...

First I just have to say my body is programed to sweat whenever I am in that building.

The talk started with us writing down what we ate yesterday and rating it. Yesterday was Saturday and most don't have great weekend eating habits. So we were given the option of writing down Friday. Ummm... so Friday was what we call a "build day" where the kids spend the whole day working on their projects and as teachers it is one of the few days we get fast food for lunch. Friday's pick was KFC. Not a proud moment but it was tasty. That also led to a lot of napping yesterday and some poor food choices. Today I'm doing a little better but the one thing I learned today is that I have got to stop lying to myself. I can't say I still eat pretty healthy. Since this summer I have had some struggles on the diet front. It started with everything leading up to having the ALCAT test redone. Things have to change.

So this talk today went through a lot of information but not extremely in-depth. It is all stuff I have heard before but needed to hear again. The owner of the gym has her PhD and is a registered dietitian. She has been doing this for awhile and is a woman after my own heart; she looks at things from a scientific point of view.

To start with she mentioned all athletes need a healthy diet (Duh...) and that we were all athletes, she knows this because we show up to Crossfit. WAIT, what?! I have NEVER thought of myself as an athlete before. I did color guard in high school and a little in college. I've never played a "sport" or anything that most would consider to be athletic. I would like to have the "athletic" toned body but never have I thought of myself as an athlete. This is a whole new lens to view myself through...

Macro nutrients: fat, proteins, and carbs, were the main part of the talk and she stressed the Paleo diet. Not as a "diet" or anything but more so as an analogy for clean eating. Pretty much to her Paleo means eating things that haven't been processed to a degree. She also mentioned figuring out what YOUR body needs and reacts to. Not everyone HAS to go dairy free or give up grains. The key is to eat food that isn't as processed. Paleo also tends to be higher in protein, moderate in carbs and healthy fat intake, dense in macronutrients, and a better balance of Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids when compared to the "average American diet."

Included was a list of foods to avoid and why:
grains- have anti-nutrients (?), inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
beans- have anti-nutrients, inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
gluten- inflammatory and damages the gut lining
dairy- inflammatory, good at making baby things get bigger (unless you're wanting mass gain you probably don't need it)
refined sugars- inflammatory, causes swings in blood sugar, can be addictive
alcohol- see refined sugars
processed foods- crammed with chemicals, preservatives, extra sodium and nutrient poor

Until this summer I was doing good with avoiding the above with the exception of rice. I need to get back on the wagon and cut out the junk I have been eating. With the help of the ALCAT I already know what foods my body doesn't tolerate. Now I just need to get back within the "good diet" guidelines.

It was also mentioned that the Whole30 and all the diets who say they take 30 days have science behind them. Studies have shown that 30 days is the ideal time to see changes take place in gut health and other changes in the body based on food changes.

Things I already knew but she went over some of the pros of cleaner eating:
-to be healthier
-to perform better
-to aid in recovery
-steady energy
-mental clarity
-increased muscle mass
-increased strength
-better immune response
-fat loss
-improved mood
-decreased inflammation
-faster recovery
-better sleep

The idea of being "fat adapted" as something that happens when your body is used to burning fat more than it is burning carbs. You still eat carbs but your body is more reliant on the long term break down of fats rather than the fast energy. It helps to balance out a lot of different functions in your body. So a 30 day run of something like Whole30 can actually get your body into a "fat adapted" state.

I had never thought of it like that before.

Signs that you're fat adapted include: less hangry episodes, you don't have intense carb cravings, steady energy throughout the day, you burn the fat you eat rather than store it, metabolic flexibility

Then came the timing piece. This part I was really interested in because I have been trying out intermittent fasting. Pre-workout meals should be 15-75 minutes before a workout, endurance workouts should include a snack, and a post workout snack/meal 15-30 minutes after a workout. If you're fat adapted you can do fasted training. (That's kind of what I do!) Fasted training helps your gut feel better and taps into your fat stores if fat adapted.

It will take 2-3 weeks to adjust if you're coming from a crappy diet. Drink lots of water and suffer though, it gets better on the other side.

So, I'm going to try to get back on the clean eating kick. Step one: cutting out processed sugars. First I will stop eating candy. Not proud that I downed a whole bag of sour gummy bears the other day... I still have some yogurt that is sweetened and delicious... but I'm not buying any more. It will be difficult with Halloween coming up next weekend, but it can be done. I have done it before!

Drink more water...