Let’s Try This Again

Ironically I’m back on public transit, on my phone and posting this. Just looked back at the last post and some themes seem odd exist...

First, I am rocking day 4 of no processed sugars. I have a new goal, but more on that in a minute, and it has given me something to strive for. And I REALLY want to meet that goal!

Second, I was thinking this morning about how I may be rocking it this time because I’m not on my period or starting my period. If I can get in the habit BEFORE all the massive cravings happen that should help. Posted about that in the last post too!

So, this new goal you ask? Ok. I want to get to 20% body fat. 15% is dangerous for women and 18% can start to have negative effects for some. I figure 20% should be alright and is already a lofty goal. Not impossible, just going to need to work for it. And so far I am and am staying motivated!

What started this? Well, I read an article someone shared on twitter and want to post about that, but that’s another day. Part of it talks about overweight people knowing what to do but not doing it. I don’t see myself as overweight but my BMI says I am and studies somewhere have to link that to health issues. So I figured it  is time to buckle down again and just do it!

This morning I woke up and went to check the time but my phone wouldn’t light up. It was 3:46am. I had set an alarm for 3:45 but the phone wouldn’t turn on so... no snooze for me! I got up and went to the gym. Did my workout and off to work I went. But I am stopping on my way home for an alarm clock; the phone is beyond trust. (Factory reset seems to have fixed errors but I’m not going to trust it.)

Currently I am at 36% body fat and 167ish lbs. I did some math and if I just lose fat I will need to lose just under 30 pounds. That’s a little intimidating and puts me at a REALLY low weight. I’m not sure I’d look healthy at that weight so the plan isn’t to replace some of that fat with muscle. This will be achieved by weights/CrossFit style workouts 3 days a week. After a month to adjust to that November will begin three day weights/workouts with 2 days of cardio. I signed up for the marathon relay again and want to get into better shape for it. Once life calms down I’d like to start doing more 5k’s again too. So cardio needs to be worked in.

Other than that I’m going for a more strict Paleo style diet and seeing how it goes. So far, not bad. I did eat BBQ sauce yesterday though that I know had sugars in it... but I did limit the amount! I also discovered my afternoon headaches are probably caused by my lack of salt so salted nuts are now in my drawer to snack on. They aren’t my favorite but I will gladly take them over headaches any day.

So, hopefully this time I can stick with the updates and actually have things to update on. We shall see.

Happy Monday!

The Downside of Losing Weight

So everyone thinks losing weight is all happiness right? I mean you feel better, you look better, you feel you look better, you are happier, you're healthier (for most of us, not always is losing weight healthy). Why should anyone be upset about dropping a few pounds?!

Ask my bank account.

So the food isn't as cheap as all the junk I used to eat. I know. PB&J's are cheaper than actually cooking. Eating the amount of meat I have been in the last few weeks isn't cheap, not to mention trying to eat fruits and veggies too. But, I shop when things are on sale and base my meals around that. I buy in larger amounts when there is a good deal and freeze it. I am trying to make extras of stuff to freeze also. For example: ground beef was on sale last week, so was ground turkey, so I made four pounds worth of meatballs and froze them. Now I have quick weeknight meal when I need one. The fiance's vacuum sealer he received from me for Christmas is getting used, that's for sure.

If it isn't the food then what could it be?!

Clothes.

Remember back this summer when I was avoiding buying clothes at all costs? Remember that "friend" who told me it is dumb to not want to buy clothes that fit? Yeah, that was because I wanted to lose the weight and didn't want to spend the money just to shrink out of the new clothes. I don't have money to just flush down the drain like that.

Well, I broke down and purchased some new jeans and dress pants. A couple shirts were also thrown in. Now? Now I can't fit them. The dress pants fall off of me. The stretch denim capris are baggy. The workout pants are loose and fall off!!! I have a pair of dress pants that I found in the closet that needed to be hemmed. I've worn them once... now TOO BIG. Just this morning I found another pair of jeans I forgot I had purchased because they also needed to be hemmed... I'm sure they don't fit anymore either!

Now what do I do?! I need a third job just to pay for a new wardrobe that fits!

Current plan is to have a yard sale and sell my wardrobe to help pay for a new one. We will see how that goes...

Spring? *updated*

It is hard to remember that it is still winter. We are in the "Spring Semester" and the weather is wonderful! I'm sure it will change again shortly but for now it is hard to remember that it isn't officially spring. Now, the spring semester is when I seem to get the busiest. Weekends are booked and busy along with evenings and week days. I didn't even look to see when the last time I had a moment to blog was.

I'm still doing alright with the workouts. Minus the illness of last weekend (flu is no fun) I have been going on a semi-regular basis. It is challenging when I'm not home in the mornings or am getting behind on grading and HAVE to get grades updated.

In the diet area I have been slacking. I have gotten in the habit of allowing myself food I shouldn't have once a week. That turned into once a week and anytime I was in a hurry. That turned into anytime I kind of wanted food I shouldn't have. Last weekend I was chaperoning a field trip and rather than packing food I opted to eat the food there and what we bought the kids. I ate WAY too much pizza on Friday night which led to waking up feeling HORRIBLE and puking. It was one of those situations where I didn't want to puke but knew it would make me feel so much better if I did. Then I ended up puking and was asking myself why I hadn't just done that earlier. I regretted eating pizza so much since I was assuming it was just my body rejecting all the gluten and cheese and grease and butter and garlic and... I'm getting an upset stomach just talking about it.

Well, turns out one of the teachers I work with had a kid down with a 24 hour stomach bug. I then determined that must be my issue when I had completely emptied my stomach and was still puking. But, everything tasted like pizza for 24 hours and I am now against pizza. I don't even really want a tomato sauce on anything yet either.

So I decided it was the kick in the pants that I needed. My weight loss has stopped and I know it is the diet. I also haven't been feeling great. I haven't been liking my job. I have noticed a lot going downhill in my attitude so it is time to get back on track. I know food leads to a lot of this. Also, my dog has been diagnosed with diabetes so in researching that more I have been reflecting on my own diet and blood sugar fluctuations. I want so much to get back to being fat adapted! So, March 1st I started a Whole 30. Three days have been good so far and I have some food plans for this week laid out. Already I have dropped about 6 lbs. Inches are about the same, but I have dropped some weight.

Then I got curious when I was looking back at how much I weighed and decided to pull up the original picture from when I started Crossfit. I found it was the end of March (I thought it was the beginning) when I started Crossfit and took some new pictures. I see some changes but nothing that dramatic. I'm still really proud of myself and what I've accomplished. The fact that I can do some of the workouts without feeling like I'm going to die is a great feeling! Also, I'm working towards a 10k distance and it is a good feeling to be able to get on a treadmill and do a walk/run training program and complete almost 3 miles in my last 5k time. And that includes walking!!!

**Update**
After posting this I went on about what I was doing and stumbled upon a post that led me to ask a friend about the former friend who I am no longer friends with. She is going through a very exciting time in her life and I had mixed feelings. I'm sad that I'm not there to experience it all with her. I thought about sending her a message but I have thought about this in the past and don't want to open that can of worms. I thought about sending her a card just to let her know that I'm excited for her but again, I don't want to open that can of worms. She could get the card and find it a nice gesture and go on with her life. She could get the card and want to start talking again. She could get the card and it could fire back up all the bad feelings towards me. She could fire up those feelings and lash out. These go from ideal to what I am completely trying to avoid in the first place. So I was having mixed emotions and decided to just wait and see what I feel in a few days. As I closed all my browser windows there were my two pictures I made part of this post.

Suddenly I see a HUGE difference. I see myself as a much happier person. Instead of focusing on where I don't want to be I focus on how close to where I want to be I actually am. I work and change the world daily. I'm planning a wedding to a guy that makes me smile and makes me happier than I could have ever imagined. I bought a dress that I LOVE and adore and can't believe I will actually be getting married in. I am counting down the days to when I get to spend every day with my husband. I have stress but it is stress related to MY life. I don't let others stress me out as much. Even listening to the people I used to work with I realize all we ever did was complain and now I am WAY more positive and choose to focus on the positives.

THIS I don't ever want to give up. This, sadly, I think is all directly related to losing someone I called my best friend. I always tried my hardest to help her be happy and at the same time I lost my own happiness. As I said then and still say, losing her as a friend isn't about her, it is all about me. It has been too long since I have actually focused on me and worked more on becoming who I want to be rather than trying to be the one who helps everyone else.

I found that I had saved this picture while looking for my "before" photo and I think it says it all.

Now I see someone in the current picture who is figuring out how to swim on the surface again. THAT is why I started Crossfit and working on myself. THAT is why I gave up the friend I was closest to in the whole world. THAT is why I continue this journey. It isn't about weight or numbers or looks, it is about how I feel. Always has been, always will be.... be about me.

Nutrition Talk

Today the Crossfit Gym (I know it is called a "box" but I'm not on that level in my mind yet...) had a talk about nutrition. I didn't really feel like getting off the couch but I figured it would do me some good to get outside again today. So, I went...

First I just have to say my body is programed to sweat whenever I am in that building.

The talk started with us writing down what we ate yesterday and rating it. Yesterday was Saturday and most don't have great weekend eating habits. So we were given the option of writing down Friday. Ummm... so Friday was what we call a "build day" where the kids spend the whole day working on their projects and as teachers it is one of the few days we get fast food for lunch. Friday's pick was KFC. Not a proud moment but it was tasty. That also led to a lot of napping yesterday and some poor food choices. Today I'm doing a little better but the one thing I learned today is that I have got to stop lying to myself. I can't say I still eat pretty healthy. Since this summer I have had some struggles on the diet front. It started with everything leading up to having the ALCAT test redone. Things have to change.

So this talk today went through a lot of information but not extremely in-depth. It is all stuff I have heard before but needed to hear again. The owner of the gym has her PhD and is a registered dietitian. She has been doing this for awhile and is a woman after my own heart; she looks at things from a scientific point of view.

To start with she mentioned all athletes need a healthy diet (Duh...) and that we were all athletes, she knows this because we show up to Crossfit. WAIT, what?! I have NEVER thought of myself as an athlete before. I did color guard in high school and a little in college. I've never played a "sport" or anything that most would consider to be athletic. I would like to have the "athletic" toned body but never have I thought of myself as an athlete. This is a whole new lens to view myself through...

Macro nutrients: fat, proteins, and carbs, were the main part of the talk and she stressed the Paleo diet. Not as a "diet" or anything but more so as an analogy for clean eating. Pretty much to her Paleo means eating things that haven't been processed to a degree. She also mentioned figuring out what YOUR body needs and reacts to. Not everyone HAS to go dairy free or give up grains. The key is to eat food that isn't as processed. Paleo also tends to be higher in protein, moderate in carbs and healthy fat intake, dense in macronutrients, and a better balance of Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids when compared to the "average American diet."

Included was a list of foods to avoid and why:
grains- have anti-nutrients (?), inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
beans- have anti-nutrients, inflammatory, carb-rich but nutrient poor
gluten- inflammatory and damages the gut lining
dairy- inflammatory, good at making baby things get bigger (unless you're wanting mass gain you probably don't need it)
refined sugars- inflammatory, causes swings in blood sugar, can be addictive
alcohol- see refined sugars
processed foods- crammed with chemicals, preservatives, extra sodium and nutrient poor

Until this summer I was doing good with avoiding the above with the exception of rice. I need to get back on the wagon and cut out the junk I have been eating. With the help of the ALCAT I already know what foods my body doesn't tolerate. Now I just need to get back within the "good diet" guidelines.

It was also mentioned that the Whole30 and all the diets who say they take 30 days have science behind them. Studies have shown that 30 days is the ideal time to see changes take place in gut health and other changes in the body based on food changes.

Things I already knew but she went over some of the pros of cleaner eating:
-to be healthier
-to perform better
-to aid in recovery
-steady energy
-mental clarity
-increased muscle mass
-increased strength
-better immune response
-fat loss
-improved mood
-decreased inflammation
-faster recovery
-better sleep

The idea of being "fat adapted" as something that happens when your body is used to burning fat more than it is burning carbs. You still eat carbs but your body is more reliant on the long term break down of fats rather than the fast energy. It helps to balance out a lot of different functions in your body. So a 30 day run of something like Whole30 can actually get your body into a "fat adapted" state.

I had never thought of it like that before.

Signs that you're fat adapted include: less hangry episodes, you don't have intense carb cravings, steady energy throughout the day, you burn the fat you eat rather than store it, metabolic flexibility

Then came the timing piece. This part I was really interested in because I have been trying out intermittent fasting. Pre-workout meals should be 15-75 minutes before a workout, endurance workouts should include a snack, and a post workout snack/meal 15-30 minutes after a workout. If you're fat adapted you can do fasted training. (That's kind of what I do!) Fasted training helps your gut feel better and taps into your fat stores if fat adapted.

It will take 2-3 weeks to adjust if you're coming from a crappy diet. Drink lots of water and suffer though, it gets better on the other side.

So, I'm going to try to get back on the clean eating kick. Step one: cutting out processed sugars. First I will stop eating candy. Not proud that I downed a whole bag of sour gummy bears the other day... I still have some yogurt that is sweetened and delicious... but I'm not buying any more. It will be difficult with Halloween coming up next weekend, but it can be done. I have done it before!

Drink more water...