Spring? *updated*

It is hard to remember that it is still winter. We are in the "Spring Semester" and the weather is wonderful! I'm sure it will change again shortly but for now it is hard to remember that it isn't officially spring. Now, the spring semester is when I seem to get the busiest. Weekends are booked and busy along with evenings and week days. I didn't even look to see when the last time I had a moment to blog was.

I'm still doing alright with the workouts. Minus the illness of last weekend (flu is no fun) I have been going on a semi-regular basis. It is challenging when I'm not home in the mornings or am getting behind on grading and HAVE to get grades updated.

In the diet area I have been slacking. I have gotten in the habit of allowing myself food I shouldn't have once a week. That turned into once a week and anytime I was in a hurry. That turned into anytime I kind of wanted food I shouldn't have. Last weekend I was chaperoning a field trip and rather than packing food I opted to eat the food there and what we bought the kids. I ate WAY too much pizza on Friday night which led to waking up feeling HORRIBLE and puking. It was one of those situations where I didn't want to puke but knew it would make me feel so much better if I did. Then I ended up puking and was asking myself why I hadn't just done that earlier. I regretted eating pizza so much since I was assuming it was just my body rejecting all the gluten and cheese and grease and butter and garlic and... I'm getting an upset stomach just talking about it.

Well, turns out one of the teachers I work with had a kid down with a 24 hour stomach bug. I then determined that must be my issue when I had completely emptied my stomach and was still puking. But, everything tasted like pizza for 24 hours and I am now against pizza. I don't even really want a tomato sauce on anything yet either.

So I decided it was the kick in the pants that I needed. My weight loss has stopped and I know it is the diet. I also haven't been feeling great. I haven't been liking my job. I have noticed a lot going downhill in my attitude so it is time to get back on track. I know food leads to a lot of this. Also, my dog has been diagnosed with diabetes so in researching that more I have been reflecting on my own diet and blood sugar fluctuations. I want so much to get back to being fat adapted! So, March 1st I started a Whole 30. Three days have been good so far and I have some food plans for this week laid out. Already I have dropped about 6 lbs. Inches are about the same, but I have dropped some weight.

Then I got curious when I was looking back at how much I weighed and decided to pull up the original picture from when I started Crossfit. I found it was the end of March (I thought it was the beginning) when I started Crossfit and took some new pictures. I see some changes but nothing that dramatic. I'm still really proud of myself and what I've accomplished. The fact that I can do some of the workouts without feeling like I'm going to die is a great feeling! Also, I'm working towards a 10k distance and it is a good feeling to be able to get on a treadmill and do a walk/run training program and complete almost 3 miles in my last 5k time. And that includes walking!!!

**Update**
After posting this I went on about what I was doing and stumbled upon a post that led me to ask a friend about the former friend who I am no longer friends with. She is going through a very exciting time in her life and I had mixed feelings. I'm sad that I'm not there to experience it all with her. I thought about sending her a message but I have thought about this in the past and don't want to open that can of worms. I thought about sending her a card just to let her know that I'm excited for her but again, I don't want to open that can of worms. She could get the card and find it a nice gesture and go on with her life. She could get the card and want to start talking again. She could get the card and it could fire back up all the bad feelings towards me. She could fire up those feelings and lash out. These go from ideal to what I am completely trying to avoid in the first place. So I was having mixed emotions and decided to just wait and see what I feel in a few days. As I closed all my browser windows there were my two pictures I made part of this post.

Suddenly I see a HUGE difference. I see myself as a much happier person. Instead of focusing on where I don't want to be I focus on how close to where I want to be I actually am. I work and change the world daily. I'm planning a wedding to a guy that makes me smile and makes me happier than I could have ever imagined. I bought a dress that I LOVE and adore and can't believe I will actually be getting married in. I am counting down the days to when I get to spend every day with my husband. I have stress but it is stress related to MY life. I don't let others stress me out as much. Even listening to the people I used to work with I realize all we ever did was complain and now I am WAY more positive and choose to focus on the positives.

THIS I don't ever want to give up. This, sadly, I think is all directly related to losing someone I called my best friend. I always tried my hardest to help her be happy and at the same time I lost my own happiness. As I said then and still say, losing her as a friend isn't about her, it is all about me. It has been too long since I have actually focused on me and worked more on becoming who I want to be rather than trying to be the one who helps everyone else.

I found that I had saved this picture while looking for my "before" photo and I think it says it all.

Now I see someone in the current picture who is figuring out how to swim on the surface again. THAT is why I started Crossfit and working on myself. THAT is why I gave up the friend I was closest to in the whole world. THAT is why I continue this journey. It isn't about weight or numbers or looks, it is about how I feel. Always has been, always will be.... be about me.

Rockin' it Today!

Tuesdays have become our team meeting days so my plan period is spent in the office discussing things that typically don't accomplish much. I could probably write a whole blog just on team meetings. But, because my plan period is taken up by meetings this means I have to be on top of things and/or go into school with enough time to get setup. On top of that I told a student who was worried and stressed about her grades that I could meet with her early if she wanted to. (Kind of frustrating to get a 2 page email, take the time to respond, and then the kid never checks for a response...) Plus there were some copies to be made and some blanks to white-out for kids who need notes in class rather than copying.

I made it in time. I get copies made. I get everything setup. I go to the meeting. We get held late. I get back to class and hey, I did actually get everything setup and don't have to rush things! Technology works. I'm using my ipad to write on the projector so I don't have to stand at the front where the board is, instead I can mix it up! Kids are asking great questions. We are having an awesome discussion. I look up and there is a pencil stuck in my ceiling... NOT TOO HAPPY... But it is kind of funny.

The day goes on. Some classes are just more talkative than others and that's life. Kid totally flipped off another kid and then acted like he did nothing when I was watching him! Ugh... I meet with the kid about grades before lunch. Things are going. Then comes the end of the day.

I rocked the time from 3-4! I prepped for the ACT class that I'm helping teach. All the ducks were put in a row nicely. Then I called my other bank and got some information so I can actually access my online account. Changed that password, checked some things out. I called and talked to CenturyLink because $47.99 for 1.5 Mbps is NOT a great deal. They knocked it back down to $25 which is still pricy considering the speed, but at the same time I don't mind the slower speed, I'm more worried about cost. (Note, could have internet and Direct TV for $53 but on my 24" tv it isn't worth it, isn't saving money, and I have a free antenna, netflix, and access to xfinity online) Now all that is left is to cancel the diary stuff for good and redo the kitchen floor.

That's right, I'm redoing the kitchen floor. I dislike the quality of laminate floor in my whole house and it isn't installed very well in general either. When I had dishwasher issues I realized the floor would have to come out to get a new dishwasher in. While price checking dishwashers to see how much I didn't really want to spend (and ended up not having to!) I also checked to see what a new floor would cost me. Turns out I found a great deal on enough vinyl flooring to cover the kitchen, bathrooms, pantry, and laundry closet for a whopping $80! Couldn't pass up that deal... Now I just have to rip up the old floor and figure out how to get the new one down. The plan for this weekend is to get the old one completely out and access the situation.

Oh, and I received my newest toy today! The friend that I no longer talk to had a Silhouette Cameo and although she did a lot for her wedding with it the thing seemed like overall a waste of money for myself to buy. So it wasn't an option for me in my mind. She and her other friend each had one of the first and second styles created. After awhile of seeing different projects that were cute I looked into it a little more and they will cut fabric! I've wanted to do applique quilts and such for awhile but never really did because of the tedious cutting process. This would do it for me! So I looked some more and turns out there was a new model coming out. So I figured a few things... 1) the old model would drop in price when the new one came out and 2) perhaps the new features were worth the money? I waited. The project ideas began to pile up and so I decided to look and see when the new model would be available and it was only about $20 for the bundle I found on Amazon so I snatched one up!  The following weekend I decided to apply for financing to purchase windows for my house and so the Cameo will be the last purchase for awhile.

Hopefully I will be able to sell some projects though as I get going to help fund more projects and perhaps make a little extra on the side. Not sure what time I will use since I can't even seem to find time to put dishes away, but I'm sure lots of crafting will happen over the holiday breaks. :)

Now it is time to finish installing the software and go to bed. I'm in a much better mood today than I was yesterday and feel so much better.