The Downside of Losing Weight

So everyone thinks losing weight is all happiness right? I mean you feel better, you look better, you feel you look better, you are happier, you're healthier (for most of us, not always is losing weight healthy). Why should anyone be upset about dropping a few pounds?!

Ask my bank account.

So the food isn't as cheap as all the junk I used to eat. I know. PB&J's are cheaper than actually cooking. Eating the amount of meat I have been in the last few weeks isn't cheap, not to mention trying to eat fruits and veggies too. But, I shop when things are on sale and base my meals around that. I buy in larger amounts when there is a good deal and freeze it. I am trying to make extras of stuff to freeze also. For example: ground beef was on sale last week, so was ground turkey, so I made four pounds worth of meatballs and froze them. Now I have quick weeknight meal when I need one. The fiance's vacuum sealer he received from me for Christmas is getting used, that's for sure.

If it isn't the food then what could it be?!

Clothes.

Remember back this summer when I was avoiding buying clothes at all costs? Remember that "friend" who told me it is dumb to not want to buy clothes that fit? Yeah, that was because I wanted to lose the weight and didn't want to spend the money just to shrink out of the new clothes. I don't have money to just flush down the drain like that.

Well, I broke down and purchased some new jeans and dress pants. A couple shirts were also thrown in. Now? Now I can't fit them. The dress pants fall off of me. The stretch denim capris are baggy. The workout pants are loose and fall off!!! I have a pair of dress pants that I found in the closet that needed to be hemmed. I've worn them once... now TOO BIG. Just this morning I found another pair of jeans I forgot I had purchased because they also needed to be hemmed... I'm sure they don't fit anymore either!

Now what do I do?! I need a third job just to pay for a new wardrobe that fits!

Current plan is to have a yard sale and sell my wardrobe to help pay for a new one. We will see how that goes...

Whole30 Go For it!

I have been following a strict Whole 30 diet for the whole month of March (so far). I was feeling better but now my stomach is messed up. I think it has to do with candida again.

I haven't actually had any terrible cravings. One night I wanted something sweet so I stopped at the store and picked up some bananas and frozen fruit for a smoothie. I have taken a real liking to frozen fruit, a banana, and some coconut milk to make a smoothie. In the morning I decided to add some cocoa powder to mix it up a little. It has been a LONG time since I have made brownies, but I'm pretty sure my brain thought I was drinking the batter! It was SOOOOOO GOOOOD!!!!

Since this summer I have lost 20 lbs. That's right, 20 lbs. Someone asked me the other day how much I had lost because I was looking so good. (A perk about never seeing your coworkers, they notice differences.) It hit me after I replied, twenty pounds, that HOLY CRAP!!! I've lost TWENTY POUNDS!!! I have never been the one who is always talking about "I just need to lose 10 lbs" or anything like that. But I realized I lost a bag of dog food worth of weight, two large bags of potatoes worth, just less than half my dog worth! No wonder running is easier these days, I'm not carrying a ton of weight around anymore! Also, made me realize just how much weight I had gained in a year.

It has taken a long time, but it sure feels good to be hovering around 162 lbs again. I saw 158 once and am hoping to see it again. This Whole30 thing should continue to help with that goal. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I saw 140 anything.

New Year, Busier than ever!!!

Ok, so a lot has happened in the last month and a half. So much so that I haven't had a chance to write anything.

Did I mention I got engaged? So that whole trip over Thanksgiving? I left a part out until we could announce it to family and friends properly before blogging about it. He proposed in Mesa Verde National Park and from there we haven't had a free moment.

December was filled with finding a venue. Being Catholic I know we will be married in a church by a priest or deacon. He isn't Catholic, but he gets to deal. Did you know that you CAN have a destination Catholic wedding?! I didn't but figured they should be able to happen. So after asking at the parish I belong to we set on the hunt to find a church and location we could both agree upon. So far our guidance was "in the mountains of Colorado."

After googling every church in the diocese we narrowed down the list to the ones that were in an ok location and looked nice. This led us to the chapel where we will be getting married. It is GORGEOUS! That led us to looking for reception venues. THAT led us to looking at our "cheap back up" plan... umm... not as cheap so back to the mountain venue! By Christmas we had a date, location, venue, menu (for the most part), decorations, and many more things already decided. Not sure why some get so stressed over this, everything is falling into place nicely. I'm waiting for when it all hits the fan, but so far it is smooth and every hurdle we come to we cross with ease as a couple.

The biggest hurdle was the officiant and interpreter. He is hard of hearing/deaf so it would be nice if he could understand his own wedding and what he is agreeing to. His parents offered to pay for one of his old interpreters to sign for us but she hasn't done it in ten years or more and wouldn't feel comfortable. Back to square one. We were going to try and get a priest who can sign but nobody ever replied. Then we were going to go with the local one but he is busy. Then we were going to go with one from the parish I'm from. Before we did that I wanted to try one more time to get someone who signs. I went to the church where they have a deaf ministry and talked to the ladies in the office. I left  a message for the ONLY priest who signs in the whole diocese. That's pretty much the populated area of the sate... the ONLY ONE. It is worth a shot. We took the chance and we got it!!! We will have a ceremony that is both spoken and signed by the same priest. No interpreter needed.

This is a big deal to me because I don't like singling him out for his hearing. I don't like that "special" accommodations need to be made. It should just be something that is done and happens. We shouldn't have to look at different people on our wedding day for what is happening. Now we don't have to and yet we combine both worlds into one. Kind of symbolic of the day...

Then with school I'm planned ahead and things are smooth for the most part. I got new windows in my house. And last year I started working with two other teachers doing a small group ACT/SAT prep class. That's taking off nicely and keeping me crazy busy. This weekend is dress shopping!

So on the dress shopping front I am SO tempted to text up the ol friend I ditched this summer and inform her of what happened. You know, the one who told me I don't know what it is like to not like my body and be called fat? That one. Well, in talking to my father about our wedding budget and all that he let me know that they would toss in a little extra to help with buying a dress since I will need to buy one. Jokingly I asked if he really wasn't going to make me wear the dress my mom has insisted I wear (cause both sisters wore it) for the last 12 years. Nope, it won't fit me. Ok, but they can always alter it.

My father replies with, "Yeah, but they can only let it out so far." My own father. Now I'm not sure he really meant to tell me he thinks I'm too fat to fit into my sisters ' dress but that is in fact what he said.

Nope... no idea what it is like to have strangers call me fat... my family does it enough for me. Of course she won't see it as about me and my feelings but instead will turn it around to be about her so I won't.

In other news I'm feeling good about myself. I now have the drive of "but this will make your arms look good" to push me through workouts and to not wimp out on weight. I'm toning and am getting some definition of a bicep!!!! That's exciting news. I haven't really gotten the scale much lower than 169 or high 168 but tomorrow I'm hopeful. I have been watching what I eat this week and yesterday I was at 175 when I went to bed. 170-171ish when I woke up and just weighed myself before going to bed again. I can usually predict my morning weight based on my evening weight. Tonight I was at 169. I typically drop a few pounds over night as I process food and such so I have high hopes for tomorrow.

More about workouts later.

It is paying off... slowly

The other day I stepped on the scale and saw a number less than 170 for the first time in a long time!!!! A week later I saw it again!!! Now, I know 169.8 isn't a huge win but when I stop and look back I'm down over 10 lbs. Today when I stepped on the scale I saw 167!!! I can remember seeing 183 on the scale (more than one day in a row) and this morning I was down 16 lbs!!! (According to my BMI I should lose another 20, I'd be happy with another 7-10)

What have I been doing?
-Less Stress
-Living Happier
-Focusing on the Positives
-Eating Better
-Following more of the diet I paid good money for the blood test to find out
-Working Out

Overall just being more satisfied with life, decluttering it in many ways, and working to enjoy it. Instead of focusing on the bad I try more to focus on the good. It doesn't always happen, but I try and that is the first step. :)

So, just a quick post about my win today and how my weight is better than yesterday. :) Along with the eating habits...


Oh, AND I wore a skirt today. It is cute, I just don't always wear skirts because I'm a teacher and they make me nervous at times being around 8th grade boys all day... Anyway... wore a skirt all day, spent the whole day walking around the room, did a review game so I had to be on my feet and moving things on the board and everything... It was the last period of the day before I realized I never put deodorant on my thighs. (It is a trick to prevent chafing and if you haven't tried it, you should.) I never put deodorant on my thighs and I had no chafing issues!!!! There are a lot of little payoffs to all this...

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Last week I set the goal of eating all Whole30 or at least Paleo to help kick the sugar issues that I have and to get back on track. This has sort of been my whole goal since Halloween time but last week I said it was going to happen! Two weeks till Thanksgiving break, a trip, a turkey, and all the overeating that goes with the above. So, two weeks to reset and make better choices to hopefully help curb all the bad habits over break.

Well, last week was a horrible week when examined up close but when I step back it was actually a great week. Up close it included some late nights at school to get grading and other things taken care of, some crazy time where kids were building constantly on their projects, an election that has led to the worry of a possible pay cuts (definitely not getting raises next year) based on not passing some school funding items, and some really stressful times. But, when I step back I see a week where kids were able to create unexplainable project pieces, rock a presentation to their parents, cook some great food for teachers, and overall show that they are great and why I do what I do.

That being said I was invited to Pizza and Punch by students in the FACS class. I was ecstatic because all of last year I never received an invite for their days to cook for teachers and this year I was invited right away! How can you turn down a chance to sit with students who want you to be there and eat some delicious pizza? It was amazing! Just... it wasn't paleo...

Then Thursday came along. I was tired, had cramps, a to do list a mile long, and just wanted to curl up and go back to bed. Instead I had to be at school, had to get a video made, round up photos, organize some stuff, and put on a happy face until 8pm while students showed off their projects. So, when the math teacher walked in with donuts I may have eaten one... or four... throughout the day. Then, for dinner the other teachers who ran to the store to get sides for our pulled pork brought back cheesecake and berries. How could I resist?! It was a rough, emotional day. Friday I may have helped finish off more cheesecake even though I'm not proud of it.

So, I had some wins in that I kept the cravings down until the end of the week. I even went to the candy drawer, dug through it, and none of the candy sounded good so I closed it and walked away. But I did give in at the end of the week big time!

This week is a new week and everyday is a new day. Today I saw 169 on the scale for the second time in a week. That is a HUGE win!!! I will take it and use it as incentive to keep going. :)

So today I was better at getting my workout in, drinking more water, and avoiding the last of the cheesecake along with other things I shouldn't eat.

More Losses!

So first I have to get off my chest that I am not happy about school today. It is yet another team meeting day and yet again what we said as teachers is being twisted around into something we would never say. On top of that I have a tough class. In the class I have 4 boys who are down right disrespectful but in a way that you can't pinpoint. They do things like laugh when I turn to write on the board and say nothing when you ask them what they are laughing at. They constantly have a response to EVERYTHING! It could be a comment to something said. I could be a comment (generally an echo from 3-4 of them) when I get on to one of them for something. It can be continuously tapping pencils on the table even after being told to stop. And every time I get on to them for it they just love it and build off of it. I've tried the ignore it tactic, it gets worse. I've tried the 3 strikes you're out system and it works to a point but there is a fine line as to what is worthy of a strike and what isn't. That's the hardest part!!! The things they do aren't really things to write them up for. I can't put on a slip that the kid was laughing in class so they should have detention. I can't say the kid shouldn't respond with "yes Ms. B" when I ask them to stop tapping their pencil. But it is in the way they do it. Ugh... I dread the class and yet the same kids have the greatest potential to be my favorite class. They just seem like they have something to prove and I'm not sure to who.

Anyway... some wins! or should I say losses?

First I actually rode my bike to school today! Yay!! It has been awhile. It was a little rough but I did it. That is something that Crossfit doesn't prepare your muscles for in case you were wondering.

Since it is the beginning of October it is time to take some body measurements. :) Since trying to use my food/workout journal I have been limiting myself to only at the beginning of the month can I do body measurements. Weight is different but I've also come to terms with it being more of a number and less of a sign of changes. So today I did my measurements... (insert drumroll)

Gains: +0.5" on flexed upper left arm
No Change: Chest (relaxed and expanded), Neck, Shoulders, Right Upper Arm (flexed/relaxed), and Left Upper Arm (relaxed), Right Upper Thigh

Decreases!!!!
Weight -2.8 lbs
BMI -.44
Waist-hip Ratio -0.01
Waist -1"
Stomach -1.5"
Hips -.75"
Forearms (relaxed/flexed) avg -0.5"
Right Lower Thigh -2"
Left Lower Thigh -1.5"
Left Upper Thigh -.5"
Left/Right Calf -1"

That's right... my calves lost an inch each! Perhaps cute boots are in my future?