The day after...

So, Tuesday was one of those days and I wrote a whole post about it. I woke up Wednesday determined to go to Crossfit, push myself, and do something about the fact that nothing seemed ok on Tuesday. Thank goodness it was a mobility day!!! So thankful! And I looked at the workout and saw kettle bell swings and box jumps. Not bad! It was a lot of swings but I got em! 

Then came time to set up for the workout... Get your kettle bell, a back support if you like, and your box. Wait, what? What's the support thing for? The sit ups. I whipped my head towards the board and sure enough... Sit ups. 

Now i have known for a long while that sit ups hurt me. Seriously hurt. I can do maybe 10 before curling into the fetal position and crying. It isn't a lasting pain but one that hurts like none other in the moment. And it is in my back, not even my abs. It happens with sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts, and most other ab exercises I have seen. 

So I ask about it and I use a fancy back helper thing with the tailbone support thing to try some out. It just might work. So on to the two round workout! 60 kettle bell swings, 40 sit ups, and 20 box jumps. Yeah... I'm supposed to do 80 total sit ups! But, I'm pushing myself and thinking of the awesome 6 pack I can gain from this... We got this. We shall overcome. 

After the coach took my light kettle bell to give to someone who needed it because he had faith in me that I could do the next one up (I was already thinking I would probably switch for the second round) we began. 60 kettle bell swings. I made it to the 40's before I had to pause! Sit-ups. I pushed and pushed. I paused a lot after 15. By 30 I was dying. By 37 I was breaking between everyone and he came over to encourage me and I flat out told him it hurts! It hurts bad! But I was going to finish the last few. And I did. The box jumps I did on a stack of weights instead and then went back to struggle with my second set of swings. Really struggled. And back to sit-ups. Oh my there was pain. And I was pushing through. 5. 7. 12. 13. 14. Dear Lord, please let me survive, 15. And it took all I had to make 16, 17, and 18. He came back. I had the girl to my right pushing me on. And on 19 all I could say was "I'm only getting 20 out this round." And that was ok. I worked through the pain for 20. 

When I finally sat down after box jumps it began to sink in. The pain. The fact that I just kicked my ass. The muscle exhaustion. All of it. I started to hyperventilate! It took all I had to not freak out right then. So I calmed my breathing. I pushed back the tears. I put my stuff away and I was out. I dropped my workout partner off at home and began to cry. 

Not only from everything that I just went through, but also because I accomplished something major (60 sit-ups!) and the fact that I couldn't do the whole workout. Nothing feels worse after a day like Tuesday than not being able to finish a workout. It sucked! And then I saw my shrugging muscles in the mirror and that helped. But I did allow myself a good cry first. 

The rest of the day was just bogus and same with today. So tonight I planted my garden! I'm happy! I also scheduled on my calendar when all should be ready to harvest. Including the whole packet of carrots I dumped in the square planted with spinach. Oops. 😳

Still, I did SIXTY sit-ups! And today I stayed calm in a crappy, stressful situation. I rocked life better than yesterday for sure. Ready for a new day. 

Today was one of THOSE days

You know. The day where nothing seems to go right? The day where you question if you're good at your job? The day where you look around and ask yourself why things haven't evolved into what you hope for? The day where you just want to curl up on the couch and cry? 

We all have them. Today was just one of them. 

It started after waking up excited to see data on my progress. I can feel lees giggle so the numbers have to show something right?! Step on the scale... Up 3 pounds from last week. Ok. I'm gaining muscle. Measure my bicep... Gained back the .5" I had lost. Really? Half an inch? Come on, it is probably just a measuring fluke. Chest is still the same even though I'd LOVE to see some loss there. Seriously... I could lose a little.... Torso... Gained back the .5". *sigh* Waist went from 40" two weeks ago to 38.5" last week! Back to 40" this week.... *sigh again* I also found one of the inches I had lost on my hips and still holding on the thigh. 

Body measurements aren't everything. That's dumb to think. Same with the number on a scale. I feel less giggle! That's a step! 

Then I turned around to pick out something to wear. It was anothe morning trying to figure out another outfit that doesn't require a real waistband. No dress pants for me... that would require the ability to button them. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to not be able to button your pants? Sure I have a pair or two of jeans that I can fit into but as a teacher I try not to wear jeans daily. Plus, I'm down to one pair that doesn't have holes or thin patches in them and that's the smallest pair. 

Then I get to school and I kid you not.... I look over during the first class and two kids are trying to lick their elbow. Seriously. How do you even respond to that?! And that is the best way to describe the kids today. A girl asked me what you call the bone in your chin and didn't believe me when I told her "that's your jaw." I started grading some solid, liquid, gas diagrams that I had them do and some seriously don't make sense at all! I gave them the answers in a short reading in case they didn't remember all the info. It was just a long, continuous face palm kind of day. 

Then something else came up and the thought of "just go buy new pants!" was rolling around in my mind. That sparked the whole thought path about not having money. I know they told me I wouldn't make money as a teacher. I get it. My choice. But I save. I do pretty darn good too. Just when I get some saved something happens though. I bought a house! Woot! The next month I needed a new differential on the car. That was my back up savings there. I get a raise! That's how I paid for the trip to Jamaicia for the Bestie's wedding. Trip paid for and taken care of and then I get my tax return! Yep, that's going to replace the back up savings I used. Parents decided to help out and pay off my loan to my grandma! Now that money goes towards the credit card debt I have (not a whole lot). Next will be the student loans. I also got a summer job that should be paying $6000!! Woot! That's a new laptop to replace the one that is a zombie it is so past dying. And the rest? That should take care of the credit cards and a student loan. I know, I live on the wild side. 

So why is it I always feel behind? Why am I always playing catch up? I hate this game. Make more money you say. Get a second job. I can't survive the first one, how do I survive the second? Plus I have one... or three. I sell Jamberry and Thirty-one but hate pushing to the same 10 people who are in similar situations to mine. The third is a tutoring gig that so far has gotten me zero hours. But I am also helping with an ACT prep course... That still isn't really bringing in a lot of dough. 

So, today was not better than yesterday. Today was just one of those days. But, I did better at getting some grading done today so I was better at something. Tomorrow I will start it off right with a workout. 

Week 3

On my way to CrossFit today, it dawned on me that today was weak three, the beginning. When do I have to stop saying I'm new to Crossfit? Also, go me! This is week THREE!!

So this weekend I noticed my legs are more solid. I've always had pretty solid calves and running recently has helped those. But my thighs and butt are getting less giggly! My muffin top in the back (the part I hate the most) is also getting smaller. But, I still haven't lost much weight. I don't start my days at 180 this week, but I also dont consider 178 much different. Menstrual bloating doesn't help either. My hope is to see a weight change next week. OR, since I'm still gaining muscle, I'd settle for just being able to button my dress pants again! 

Anyway, it is week 3. Last Friday I ended the week with a crazy workout. They call it "Fight Gone Bad" if that tells you anything. We did our run out and back and then a warm up. From there the other pre-workout time where we usually work on skills of some sort, or increasing weight, was spent setting up. It is one minute of each: wall balls, sumo dead lift high pulls, box jumps, push press, row. Rest for two minutes and go again. You count one of everything and thencalories on the rower. I made a total of 179 in the three rounds. I thought the board said 5 rounds and you cannot imagine my excitement when the coach said we were almost done. 

Today's workout was easier yet kicked my lungs in the butt. 3 front squats and 3 burpees. AMRAP. (As many rounds as possible) I managed to do 6+3! (6 rounds with 3 squats) 

Is it a lot? No. Is it more than I could do yesterday? Hell yes! And this weekend I was able to start seeing results. I was excited when I held up my arm and could see slight deltoid definition coming. My thighs giggle less. My butt is more firm. And my brother even said something to the fact that he finds me attractive, but I'm getting more attractive and he's worried what will happen if I stick with it. :)

I'm pumped. I'm tempted to sign up for 6 months since it takes another $25 a month off the fee and I'm liking it. It definitely isn't me or something I would normally do, but I'm liking the fact that I'm gaining upper body strength! Like, I did TWO push-ups (on knees) today! (Face planted my first one there)

100 Shoulder to Overheads

100 Shoulder to Overheads.

Do you know what that means? That means I didn't wash my hair this morning and tomorrow is looking iffy too.

After a warm up that was alright and then 15 min to work on skills we got to the workout. For skill today I worked on jump roping. I knew we would be using a lot of upper body in the workout and that being my weak point I opted for some lower body. Jump roping makes your hamstrings burn. Like seriously BURN. Double-unders still escape me but I will get there one day. I'm just proud that I jump roped for the first time since like 3rd grade!

Then on to the workout: 100 shoulder to overheads with 20 lateral jumps on every minute. I tried to do just the 15lb bar but peer pressure made me add 2-10lb weights. I made it to 85 before I couldn't lift it anymore and opted for just the bar again. But, I did it! I did all 100!!! At about 80 it was time for more jumps (they turned into step overs at some point) and after the coach told me that it was my last set and I could be done. I told him no! I was going to get to 100 even if it killed me! Then my work out buddy was done so I had her strip her weights off her bar and finished using her bar.

Surprisingly I can still lift my arm! Just don't ask me to lift any weight or put pressure on anything. I can get the whiteboard eraser up but I can't erase the board because it requires too much effort.

Again... I did better than I did yesterday!

Week 1 Towards a New Me

Week one was rough. I won't lie. It wasn't the best week to kick my workout routine into high gear, but no week would be a good week either. We started the state standardized tests which means we switch to 2 hour block schedules. Switching my routine doesn't go well. Switching 135 teen agers' schedules doesn't go well. The kids go stir crazy during this time! AND... We get to do this for three and a half weeks. Joy!

So the kids are regressing to elementary mind sets and I decide to go work out like a beast. Monday I went to the 5:00 pm class and it kicked my butt. We did snatches which I was told is the hardest move in Crossfit. (I have since been told this about a few moves lol) I went back Wednesday morning at 5:30 and got my butt kicked! 

Now, let me put this into perspective... I'm so weak in my upper body that I literally face planted my first push up. And that was a "girl style" push-up on my knees... My second workout involved pull ups. 

One thing that makes me feel great about Crossfit is the fact that they can scale it to any ability level! I did those pull ups. I did ALL the pull ups! I just did them jumping on a stack of weights. Before you start thinking about how easy that is you should know that you start from a hanging position with your arms, drive up with your legs and share the burden with your arms to get your chin above the bar. And no, I couldn't stand with my chin above the bar to start. On my second round a lady told me to drive more with my legs to help my arms more and my response was, "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" They were so sore and I was pushing them even more, but I know it is what I need. I went back Friday morning. 

By Friday I was tired. I was tired of feeling sore. I was tired of dreading steps. I was tired of kicking my own ass only to gain weight. I was tired of the kids who decided they didn't have to act like they were at school anymore. I was tired of every pair of dress pants NOT buttoning. I was tired of trying to figure out outfits with elastic waist bands so they would fit. (Seriously, I wore a skirt and a dress last week so I didn't have to wear real pants) I was tired of putting effort in to everything and just feeling like it was pointless. Needless to say I was put in timeout after school and took a nap. 

I read a few things that said you'll gain weight at the beginning. You're building muscle. You're retaining water and inflammation with the soreness. It will go away. You'll reach a point where you have so much muscle you start burning fat like crazy. But when the scale reads 182 and 183 you start to panic. (180 is my dreaded weight) 

On top of that I am excited that I have broken out of my comfort zone and started something new. But at the same time it is so tough! Friday began with me wanting to cry at the gym and that was only at the beginning of the warm up! Seriously, it hurts when you're sore. On the other hand though I don't want to become another person who only talks about Crossfit. So I decided to start up the ol blog. Here you don't have to read it if you don't want to hear it. 

So I trudged on and made it to the gym on Monday again. Since Friday I have been dragging another lady who went to the beginning classes with me. It helps us both be accountable. I left feeling great! The weekend helped the soreness and the workout was difficult but didn't leave me as sore as the rest. I felt better about myself and felt on the path to success. I had also begun to take body measurements so this morning I woke up and did those to find out that I was in fact seeing a change for the better. Is it huge? No. It has only been a week!!! But it is change in the right direction. I will work on updating the body measurement page in the next few days,

I just have to be better than yesterday. 

2016

So it has been awhile since I added anything to this blog and in these past few years a lot has changed. I won't go into details about everything as this is about my resolutions for the year. So, instead just a brief intro to how 2016 has started:

I'm dating a guy who is awesome and very fit. We think a lot alike and enjoy similar things. He is awesome. 

I'm teaching 8th grade science. I love it. The kids are a hoot and as most middle school students are, are all over the place! But I like it and think I will stay here for awhile. 

Oh, a big event, I bought a town house last summer! It was in need of some updating so many projects were completed last summer and more are in progress and planning. 

Now, the reason why I picked up this blog again... Over the last few months I have gained weight. Like I was close to the weight that I never wanted to reach! Years ago I watched a show about the worlds fattest man and all the other TLC shows (is that still a channel?) about obese people and all I could think of was, "How do you let it get that bad?" It isn't like you wake up over night and suddenly you're 200-300 lbs heavier. Did they not notice? So I set 180 as my "do everything you can" weight. If I ever reach this weight then I need to start doing everything I can to get in better shape. Unless of course I was pure muscle which isn't me. 

So when I went from 165 to 175 in the matter of a month or two (DARN HOLIDAY SEASON!!) I figured it was time to do something. Then I had to stop denying that the scale read 175 just the other day and that 178 was just water weight. When 179 started to show up I began to panic. Literally. ONE pound away from my limit. 

This led me to look for some major changes. I have run TWO 5ks. Like ran the whole thing! Last one was for St. Pat's so not even that long ago! So it isn't like I wasn't exercising. Could I do more? Yeah. But what? My bestie got married in Jan in Jamaica and in looking at pictures from the reception my arms make me look kind of bad. So I decided I need to tone. I have leg/running muscles but I need to tone my upper body. This led me to checking out the local rec center prices so maybe I could go to the gym. I also checked out the BF's gym prices (NOT in a teacher salary range especially with how far away from me it is). I then thought about it and realized I tried the gym in HS and didn't see a whole lot of results. So how was I going to do things differently? I don't know anything about weight lifting! Besides that I always seem to talk myself out of the "hard stuff." So, that wasn't going to work. 

Enter Crossfit.

Yep. Crossfit. 

I signed up for the "on ramp" classes where they teach you everything you need to know and set out to tone my body and hopefully lose some weight. The reception is in May for the same wedding from Jan and I will be wearing the same dress so I want it to look better. I'm in my 2nd week of "real" classes and will write more about that in the next post. 

My overall resolution this year: Be better than I was yesterday. (Goes with every aspect of life)

A New Year

So I looked back today and realized I only made it through half a year last year with the blog and cut out about 5 weeks of the resolutions. Since I last posted a lot has happened.

I moved to Colorado where I am loving the snow! I have seen some moose and the last few days I've seen a whole herd of elk. My doggie LOVES it out here and we went snowshoeing with some friends from the school on Saturday. She didn't like the DEEP snow, but was ok when there was a packed trail.

The BF and I split in September. I couldn't ever see myself moving back to Missouri and he never even gave the idea of him moving a thought because his career is too important. Why should I think about giving up my chance at one if he's not willing to think about it either. So, we split, he has a new gf, and hangs out with my sister and her fiance all the time. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with him anymore.

As a teacher there is one bad thing... the treats, candy, and cookies begin before Thanksgiving and NEVER END!!! I fell off the wagon with the no sugar thing when I moved out here. First it was a sweet treat about once every other week. The, after I dropped about 12 pounds in a few weeks I decided I needed to slow the weight loss down and bought a thing of ice cream. That led to eating the cookies and snacks given to the teachers. That led to all sorts of bad eating habits for the holiday season and tomorrow it has to end.

Tomorrow is only New Year's Eve, but I have decided my new year should begin on a Monday. Tomorrow begins the cycle of resolutions again. Starting again with week 1: no more processed sugar.

Surprisingly... I may have a friend joining me in this endeavor of no sugar! So that's kind of exciting...

Insanity! In more than one way...

Alright, I know it has been forever since I last posted. And I've been slacking a lot on my resolutions, but feel I've made good excuses for them all. LOL.

So, an update on what's been going on. Last time I wrote, I was getting ready to go to Illinois. That trip was fun and somehow in my Kia Sorento I managed to bring home a dresser, a small tv, 5 new pillows, a dog, my bag, bf's bags, box of can goods, two boxes of my Great Grandmother's china, and me and my bf. It was a tight squeeze, but it gave me hope for getting to Colorado! (Should have taken pictures... )

Then, the following week I was asked to judge the local Fair Queen Pageant with the bf which turned into judging the talent show also. It was hard because I knew a few of the kids from substituting but I think I did good on judging them based on what they showed me at the pageant and not what I knew they could do. This meant that I had less time to be backing for the great road trip, and... I missed the entire night of bull riding! That's the one thing I always went to at the fair and I missed it this year because I was judging. :(

Saturday came and we loaded up the car. I mean we LOADED the car FULL! Some of it even ended up going on top of the car and getting tied down. (Again... should have taken pictures...) After driving 12 miles and realizing I forgot to deposit money in the bank we had to turn around (local bank) and head back to town. Took care of that and headed out again. About 3 hours into the trip or so I heard a strange rattling sound coming from the roof of the car. Nervous something was coming untied we pulled over. Everything was still tied tight so we carried on. Awhile later I heard it again, we stopped, everything was fine, we traveled on with the radio up a little more. Then, after awhile it really started to bother us and we figured out that maybe it was the ends of the rope flapping that we were hearing. Tucked those in and we were all good. No more noises!

We stopped in Lincoln, NE for a break and walked around their Capitol Building. It was really cool and really neat to see green grass! It's been so dry even our green grass is still a little crispy on the edges. Lincoln had gorgeous, soft green grass. The puppy sure enjoyed it! We ate dinner at a truck stop and still debated the drive-all-night vs stop-somewhere plans. Decided to play it by ear. We did have a time crunch in that we had to be to town to meet the landlords no later than 2pm but by 11am would be best. They were leaving town for the week and everyone they would leave stuff with was also out of town. We ended up napping once or twice and taking turns (although bf did most of the driving) and when we were just outside of Laramie, WY we stopped for the last few hours of the night. We just slept at a rest area and called it good.

I should also mention that it is COLD outside at night. Coming from a land where it might get down to 85 at night to where it was in the 40's is a HUGE change and blonde me didn't pack any warm clothes where we could get to them! And, I was traveling in shorts...

Morning came, we got up and went potty, walked the dog, and headed into Laramie. Laramie is an important place to stop on the trip because it is the last town before getting to the little town where I'm living and the last place to really stop for groceries/wal-mart. After cramming every nook and crannie with the things we picked up at Wal-Mart we headed on to my new home!

We unloaded the car, set up the air mattress, and slept a long time.

Then, since the bf is here for 2 weeks we decided to hit up every other town I could go shopping in. First up was Fort Collins. Nice town, LONG drive through mountains. Originally I thought mountains would be cool and was a little sad I am in a big flat valley of ranches, but after that drive, I like my valley!

While in Fort Collins we hit up an awesome thrift store! Bought 2, not one but TWO, humidifiers for $3.99 each! The dry air had been killing us! Also got two folding chairs for $2.99 each (brand new and I hadn't packed any thing to sit on), and a bag of crochet thread (more on that another day) for cheap. Then we went to Ross, very happy to see there is one there! A trip to the Dollar Tree! Followed by lunch at a microbrewery (bf's a beer fan) and a tour of New Belgium Brewery! Then, since the dog was now going to be locked up longer than planned, we rushed through wal-mart to get new humidifier filters and a few other things and Safeway to get food. I <3 Safeway!

After trudging back through the mountains following a semi who almost ran three different cars off the road (he wouldn't stay on his side!) we made it home.

Steamboat Springs was the trip planned for yesterday and was interesting. Our list of things was smaller this time and so we really only stopped at Safeway, Walgreens and Wal-mart. We had lunch at what was apparently the town's first Mexican restaurant. Amazing food, but our waitress wasn't the greatest. At one point she made me feel really needy because when she asked if we needed anything I requested more tea to drink (cup was 2/3 empty) and some extra napkins. I feel, and I was once a waitress, that she should have asked if we were ok with drinks and such instead of just always asking us if we needed anything. But still good food. The drive to Steamboat was a lot better and so either there or Laramie will be my shopping places.

We also got to watch the balloon festival thing yesterday morning at 7am here in town. We've seen a lot of antelope, prairie dogs, and birds of all kinds.

This week is my first week of school! Well, for me and the other teachers. Tomorrow starts our teacher work days and all that cool stuff. Then, Friday bf and I are heading to Denver so he can fly out on Saturday. I'll be coming back, scrambling to get everything done and ready for Monday, the first day of school.

I also, began Insanity workouts again today. Started at Day 1 with the Fit test. I'm nervous to compare results to the last time I started it.